By Forget Thailand make your international vacation reservations for Kunsan’s old A-Town:
Welcome to America Town, a tangle of narrow streets and neon lights where generations of airmen from tiny Kunsan Air Base have gone to eat, drink, buy souvenirs and meet women.
“It’s like a legend. Everybody knows about it in Korea. People tell stories,” Senior Airman Michael Downard said over dinner at Big Boy Restaurant, a clean but simple one-room diner with five tables, sagging wallpaper, and a pink plastic pig on the front counter.
Make that the former America Town. Set in the middle of sprawling farmland, this ramshackle bar district has an ambitious new name that leaders from nearby Gunsan City hope will be the first step in its makeover and, ultimately, its role as an international tourist destination. [Stars & Stripes]
Some how I don’t think the old A-Town ville is going to be replacing Thailand on anyones international tourist itineraries but I may be wrong. So who’s idea was it to change the name of the ville? Here is who:
Kunsan commander Col. Bryan Bearden suggested renaming A-Town after he arrived at the base in late spring. Now on his third tour in South Korea, Bearden said he has developed a “great respect” for the country and that it’s wrong that an area in the middle of South Korea should be named after another country.
This is a strange statement to me considering we have Chinatowns, little Tokyos, and even Koreatowns all over the United States. Will Colonel Bearden start a national campaign to have the name of these areas changed in the US? If Colonel Bearden only thinks such logic should be applied to South Korea then he should be at least be advocating for Korea to change the name of its Chinatown district in Incheon as well as the enormous new Chinatown that is being built in Goyang county. I could care less about the ville’s name being changed, I am just stating the rationale doesn’t make sense.
Anyway Colonel Bearden got to the Kunsan mayor to agree to change the ville’s name and took suggestions from Colonel Bearden, other airmen, and the Kunsan community and of course chose the most absurd name:
Bearden suggested calling the area Barley Town, or B-Town, after the barley fields surrounding the district. The city took suggestions from historians and Kunsan airmen, whose nominations included “Healing Spirits,” “Peace Ville,” “Global Ville” and “Holy Ville.”
Moon selected the winning name: “International Culture Ville,” which reflects the city’s ambitions to become a major port for Northeast Asia, and its hope that A-Town will become a tourist draw as the city grows.
I thought Colonel Beardon’s suggestion was funny, but the other suggestions are even more ridiculous and the name they settled on is the worse of all of them. Do you think anyone in Kunsan is going to be saying, “Hey lets head over to the International Culture Ville tonight?” Likewise personnel stationed on Kunsan were not impressed:
Most airmen panned the new name.
“I laughed when I saw the sign,” said Staff Sgt. Kurt Weisel.
“The military makes this place what it is, and it’s A-Town,” said Staff Sgt. Cody Martin.
“I heard about A-Town before I even got here,” said Senior Airman Daniel Lane. “It’s always going to be A-Town. They might change it, but it’ll always be referred to as A-Town.”
These business owners summed up best of what my own personal opinion of the villes in Korea are like:
Local business owners don’t think much of the name either, saying the area is far from international.
“The new name doesn’t match this neighborhood at all,” said Jang Gil-hoon, who owns a sportswear store there. He said 85 percent of the area’s customers are American airmen, and the rest are workers from the Philippines and Uzbekistan. He said the town reminds him of undeveloped parts of South Korea during the 1970s. The city has done little to make the area nicer for residents or airmen, who sometimes come into his store looking for a garbage can for their cans and cigarette butts because they can’t find one on the street, he said.
“I feel personally sorry for the soldiers in this poor environment, where there is no good place to enjoy themselves,” he said.
Cho Kyung-soon, owner of Mama’s Restaurant, said the name was “kind of dumb.” She thinks city leaders want to improve the area, but she’s skeptical that they’ll do anything.
She said she wants Kunsan airmen to have a nicer area near their base where they can relax, instead of going to Osan or Seoul for fun.
“They see me as a real mama, and I treat them as my real sons,” she said. “Serving one airman is a lot better than 10 Korean … customers. I hope the city develops the neighborhood, so the airmen can enjoy themselves.”
So who thinks this name change was a great idea? Vote below and if you have a better idea for the ville’s new name leave it in the comments section.
6:45 pm on October 14th, 2008 1
Actually A-town used to be called Silver town before when it came into being in the 1970s. Supposedly the name was derived from the Ok-ku area meaning silver. A-town (American Town) actually started into use in the late 1980s — though the sign painted on the building behind the bus stop still said “Silver Town”. By the mid-1990s, A-town was the accepted moniker — along with the “new” sign the town erected over the gate to the ville proclaiming it American Town.
Was thinking of posting a vignette on the history of A-town from my site, but it is pretty negative about the military — meaning commander policy in the early 2000s dealing with the fight over prostitution so decided to skip it. Stopped updating that page in 2005 after I moved to Osan.
This latest name change is just another way of the base trying to pretend that it has no “camptown” outside its base. Let’s be real…the base graders were used to build the original road leading into A-town in 1971; GI lived in A-town from its inception till the base moved them all on base; Base doctors/medics provided VD clinic services since its inception.
Dear Wing Commander — changing the name will not wash away the fact that it was a place built specifically for the “needs” of the GI population and for 30 years the base hierarchy condoned its operation. Sorry — a name change won’t make your hands come clean. Too many GIs remember how it was.
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August 23rd, 2009 at 12:13 am
Not only GI’s/ Girls which used to work there too!
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10:04 pm on October 15th, 2008 2
They were considering renaming Donducheon to the Korean equivalent of “Star City”. Wow! I want to go to Star City too!
I sort of understand. Whenever I have went any where with a Korean from Tongduchon, they always tell people they are from Uijongbu.
Classic Korean mentality. Rename it, that will change everything!
“Korea, glistening”
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8:47 am on October 16th, 2008 3
I heard that the Silver town came from a fence that once closed the area off.
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6:23 pm on October 16th, 2008 4
Silvertown was built on a hill with graves by a retired Korean general and another party. The location was chosen to be just outside the three-mile exclusionary zone around the base that was implemented in 1970 because of the nuclear alert facility on the base. The town was then incorporated in 1971 where the bars bought the property for their businesses.
The explosion of the personnel at Kunsan after the Pueblo Crisis maxed out the three bars in Kunsan City — and the base commanders had a serious control problem of rounding up their troops on a minutes notice during alerts. The problem was that troops would go downtown — and stay overnight and catch the city buses to return to base the next morning. The situation was the same one faced by commanders at Kunsan AB from the mid-1950s, but the situation of a caretaker base was quite different from an operational base on alert. It was estimated that as many as 30 percent of the base could be missing on any given night.
The building of the town solved the problem. The base allowed the GIs to live and play in their own controlled environment. The Park Chung-hee government gave the town “special tourism zone” status that allowed the bars to buy beer and liquor without tax — and provided them special discounts on bar purchases. Thus the bars became cheap drinking holes for the GIs — and the bar owners could make a profit. The base allowed GIs to live off-base because there was a recurrent billeting shortage on base — especially after many of the prefab buildings brought up after the Vietnam closure started to deteriorate and had to be condemned. Silvertown became the official camptown of Kunsan AB.
The old bar row in Kunsan City became the GI shopping area with a few bars. As houses sprung up outside the property of the town, it was enclosed by a cinderblock wall with barbed wire and broken glass bottles to keep out the thieves. There was only one entrance into Silvertown which was the main gate — and the town was patrolled by the Town Patrol at night.
As a business, the town operated its own buses to transport the GIs to work — and during exercises would operate on modified schedules. The bargirls lived within the town in small rooms in concrete buildings to the rear. Later three-story studio apartment buildings were built in the 1980s. Silvertown was an encapsulated bar community with GIs and bargirls living within the walls. The Town Patrol was given rooms to operate from at the top of the hill and a base siren system installed to alert the GIs for exercises. The town even had its own garbage men and garbage dump just outside the walls. The town operated its own bus system for the GIs. The bad thing was that the base came to feel that it “owned” the town and this caused a lot of friction between the Korean bar owners and base authorities.
The town of Mimiyeon nextdoor — originally a farmers’ village — soon spread out as the years passed and other rural businesses (i.e., mushroom factory) came to the area. However, many of the houses outside the town were rented to GIs with families.
After the GIs moved on base, the town fell on bad times. By the mid-1990s, the rear wall had been broken down and the concrete shanties to the rear were being demolished as they were empty. By 2006, the front wall of the town was also being demolished and the front gate area opened up. The bus system became privately owned — and soon broke down. However, A-town still remains an inexpensive bar row operated as a “special tourism zone” for GIs only.
As an “International Cultural Ville” — what a joke!!!
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8:36 pm on October 16th, 2008 5
Kalani:
Thanks that was great summation of the history of base town I never visited.
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12:36 pm on October 18th, 2008 6
I often wondered what happened to my home away from home (Jun 71-72). A-town became Silvertown during that time. Npw back to A-town. Who’d thought. Guess my old Yobo Kim won ye is in happy mountain by now. Ah, the memories.
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9:32 pm on November 8th, 2008 7
[...] http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1945512/posts [Found on Yahoo! Search, Ask.com] 12. Kunsan’s A-Town to Become "International… A-town (American Town) actually started into use in the late 1980s — though the … The [...]
1:35 pm on February 20th, 2009 8
I’m not sure, but I’m going fishing. I was station at the Kun, from Aug-75 to Aug-76. I lived in A-Town for most of the year. I lived with a young lady by the name of Chong-Su-Cha. Ms. Chong was from Pusan She was a year younger than me. By now she should be around 54 yrs of age. Is there an email address or contact person who could do some leg work and try to fine her? We wrote to each other after I got to Charleston AFB, S.C. I was informed from a buddy who was station with me at the Kun. That we had a daughter. I wrote Ms. Chong and asked the big question, as to why she didn’t tell me. I never heard another word from her. After all these years and I’m retired from law enforcement I’m checking. Thanks, to whom, for any help. Tyrone
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2:00 am on March 13th, 2009 9
Let’s call it what it is – F-town or Whoreville is short and to the point! Thanks A-town for ruining my life & yet I’ve never stepped foot inside your crappy country!
I’ve still only been with one man – MY HUSBAND – who hadn’t drunk alcohol in the 5 years we had been married and the year and a half we dated while I was in high school. That is until his new F-16 family took him out for his green bean (yes – this naive wife has learned a thing or two useless pieces of information). I once loved him enough to try very hard to understand what happened – THERE IS NO UNDERSTANDING WHEN A MAN (OR WOMAN) CHEATS ON THEIR SPOUSE! His new Air Force “buddies” got him rip roaring drunk on soju then left him and went to another bar without him. Thank you Air Force REJECTS who wouldn’t know a real man if he walked up and beat you! Thank you Air Force troop of Hispanic background that had been at MacDill with my husband before seeing him at Kunsan when he arrived – I will not forget you – BELIEVE ME! Thank you A-town whore for sitting on MY HUSBAND’S lap on and off the rest of the night while he wore the wedding ring I bought him and put on his finger in front of everyone I cared about – thank you for taking him to your hole-in-the-wall bedroom and allowing him to pump semen all inside you throughout the night for a mere $20 (what God joined together – you tore apart at that moment)!!! YOU WILL BURN IN HELL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!!! That was 2 August 1991 and I was walking down a country road by my favorite farm with OUR SON thinking of how much I loved and missed him while he disgraced me, my family and my country! God help you A-town whore if you ever step foot in the state of Virginia and I find out about it!
Fast forward to 2009 – my husband and I will be enduring our 23rd wedding anniversary this year. That little boy (our son) he left behind when he went to Kunsan will turn another year older today while he serves the US Army Infantry in Iraq. My husband is not home right now (I got use to him being gone) – after getting out of the military for awhile, he went back and is on Alert still serving the Air Force. I am home with our two other children who were conceived by the grace of God – they are the only happiness I have! Attempting to conceive has been the only reason I choose from time to time to be intimate with my own husband – you ruined any good feelings there ever was you God forsaken piece of trash!
All you foolish little boys that think it’s impossible for a man to go a year without a woman – ask my husband if it’s possible. Although he didn’t go long in Korea without a whore, he’s gone years under my observation here in the States (while he has slept by my side). Too bad he wasn’t raised or surrounded by real gentleman or he wouldn’t have made that fateful mistake that ruined a large portion of ALL of our lives!
We both wish we could go back and change what happened that night; but, WE CAN’T! All you military wives that are contemplating going to S. Korea unsponsored by the military because you love your husband soooo very much – DO IT!!! You will not regret it!!! I am a Southerner and let me tell you something – women have been following their husband’s into battle since the dawn of time (you will not be the first to disobey the military and do what your heart believes is right. You may be on your own; but, you will be close enough & if your husband can get on a military bus to a place like A-town (or any camp town for that matter), he can just as easily come visit you!!! If I could go back – I’d live anywhere to prevent what happened from happening – a nasty high rise in A-town, a grass hut, a rice paddy – ANYWHERE. DON’T LET THESE PLACES, ORGANIZATIONS, AND COUNTRIES TEAR APART WHAT GOD BROUGHT TOGETHER – those of you that marriage actually means something to(you know who you are), listen to what I’ve said. Don’t let them take your husband, your marriage, your life – FIGHT!!! I would have preferred to die in a foreign country loving him rather than live through the pain his cheating has caused! Before Korea – I couldn’t wait to get home from work each day and be back in his arms, I wanted to feel his touch on my skin – Since Korea, it is upsetting to me if he goes beyond a hug, and I have spent more than a few nights letting my mind drift away while tears run down my face.
I hope this will help just one marriage! If you are in the military at Kunsan (or Camp Casey, Camp Red Cloud, etc.) think before you start drinking or get on that stupid military sponsored bus to sin city – go back to your dorm, call your wife (or husband), tell them how much you miss them and wish they could hold you! Cry, scream, put your fist through a wall, but, for goodness sakes – don’t do something you’ll never be able to make right again. Just think about what I’ve said – nothing will bring back the love and trust (and the fun) I once had with my husband. I have nothing to gain from writing this – I just don’t want anybody going through this ever again. The hurt you will cause if you cheat, will NEVER stop hurting! I have lived with this knowledge for nearly 16 years now and it hurts deeper and deeper the older I get – I am sure that it will hurt right up to the last breath I draw; but, God never promised me an easy life. I guess this is the cross that I will bear until the day I die – I never thought the man I chose to be loyal to for the rest of my life would bring me such pain! I pray that the love I have for God and Jesus Christ his son will be stronger than the hate I feel for A-town and those that support it!
The last comment I have is for all you down to business types – A-town and places like it are a security risk for your base. Their once was a saying, “Loose lips sink ships!” There was a lot more loose on my husband than his lips that night and tonight there are many many more troops at A-town with loose lips. I care about my country and I AM A PATRIOT – God help you people that sell out our country and your families for a one night stand!!!
Thank you God for watching over me – You are the Only One that ensured a disease was not passed to me – the military did not care! My Dad always told me that YOU never put more on our shoulders than we can bear – YOU knew my children needed me and YOU have made me a much stronger person! WHAT DOESN’T KILL US MAKES US STRONGER! For those going through this – don’t expect your husband to be your knight in shining armor – pick yourself up and go out and become your own hero! Children need good adult role models to look up to!!!
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March 14th, 2009 at 12:22 am
“Thank you God for watching over me”
It’s a shame you have trusted so much to a diety and it has either utterly failed you or is ignoring your misery. Perhaps you haven’t been praying hard enough!
Anyway, you might consider this list- Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship:
Controlling behavior
Jealousy and possessiveness
Misogyny
Mood swings and short temper
Threats and violence
Emotional abuse
Blaming the victim
Hypercritical nature/unrealistic expectations
Any of these sound familiar? See a pattern? Perhaps you should get help. there are folks out there who can help you escape these types of situations.
Good luck to you.
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March 14th, 2009 at 1:36 am
So what if you were born in the Southern U.S?
It’s always amazed me that some brag about where they were born, a simple accident of fate. I’ve yet to get the correct answer from a Southern Braggart to the question, “Where is the Mason Dixon Line?”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mason_dixon_line
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11:49 am on March 13th, 2009 10
Wow. Someone’s certainly off their medication today!
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11:24 pm on March 13th, 2009 11
Virginia Mountain Girl,
The Bible has a lot of good advice. Sometimes God punishes those who don’t follow it. Usually, He allows those who don’t follow it to punish themselves.
Because you chose not to follow His Way and forgive, you have punished yourself with 18 years of misery. You have trapped yourself in an intentionally-created loveless marriage.
Your husband’s action was not a premeditated, long-term plot against you by an evil man. It was a good man’s spontaneous sin based on momentary temptation with the additional demons of alcohol and peer pressure.
Few men are strong enough to resist the Devil’s powers when wielded on this scale. Scripture is fulled with examples of those who could not. It glorifies the few who could.
Jesus specifically died on the Cross so this type of sin could be forgiven.
It’s not too late. Throw away your Devil-inspired pride. Do not allow the Devil to force your children to grow up in a house full of hate and resentment. Do not allow the Devil to take the rest of your life from you.
When you next see your husband, give him a big hug and tell him you love him and he is forgiven… just as Jesus does when members of his flock go astray.
It is sometimes very hard to follow exactly in His footsteps. We can’t always do it correctly. But when we don’t even try, we show Him the greatest disrespect and we commit the greatest sin.
By following His Word, you can cast the Devil out of your house, your marriage and your life. And, by following His Word, you become the greatest roll model your children could ever ask for.
It will not kill you but it will definitely make you much, much stronger.
I would say, “good luck,” to you but you do not need it. You need only to follow His Word.
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3:50 am on March 14th, 2009 12
Those Korean girls in the Ville are way better than any white trash POS in Va.
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6:54 am on March 14th, 2009 13
VMG
I wish I had a squad full of men like your husband.
He must be the toughest man alive (mentally) to live with you for 18 years while you have treated him like …- well it starts with an S. Most men would have broken years ago. You are a mean person, but if you were in my unit I could use your evil (add a d and see what you get) personality to terrorize (question) Iraq prisoners. You may be successful at that.
If we ever have North Korean prisoners we need to torture I will contact you through this forum to see if you would like the job. You can use your Southern pride to punish these Northern low lifes.
Army Strong and an Army with Values!
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12:11 pm on March 17th, 2009 14
Since there’s been a drop in response, I will now retaliate (I mean respond).
Out of respect, I will address ChickenHead first (no relation to the bars, I hope). Your response was the only one that seemed faith driven and not reactionary and retaliatory. I’m sure you know the saying “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.” I keep leading my heart back to my husband (not that it has ever strayed, but it can become numb and unfeeling). The problem is, you can’t make a heart fall and even though you forgive, your heart will not forget who or what hurt it! Although my husband destroyed the trust in our marriage, I have tried to build it back (and no, not with blogs like I wrote last week); but, I believe he should be the one doing the damage control and he didn’t do a very good job of it. I have and will continue to try; although I have painful days like the other day when I wrote the above blog. Some days are more painful than others; but, not one day begins without Korea so each day I face is an attempt to push back the real devil. Just when I’ve forgotten for a second about Korea – there it is in the form of a news piece, a Korean or Korean-American person, a label such as Made in Korea, etc. I use to laugh and say, “Okay God – that’s really funny” – but what continues to go on in that country is not funny and maybe just maybe God keeps it in my life because he wants me to do something with it – we’ll see! I have forgiven my husband; but, I can’t forget (like I said a heart doesn’t forget no matter what you tell it). The memories I have lived with can be painful and anyone would know that if they ever loved anyone and I did once and only once love one man – my husband! As for forgiving others – the military for supporting these places; the prostitutes, bartenders, and owners for providing the services; and the troops that are either immature or jealous of loving marriages who enjoy getting newbies drunk and laid (as you all say) – I don’t believe any of these people ever asked for my forgiveness, nor do I think they ever will! From what I have read here, they are proud of themselves so I think I’ve forgiven the only one that wanted forgiveness. Thank you for your concern ChickenHead – I will try to work on my forgiveness of those that don’t want it – I hope you will work on bringing God to those who never knew Him and/or those that don’t believe! P.S. You might want to start with NapoLeon LaPorte (see blog above). Good luck!
Now for some fun! MOE – or is it Curly or Larry?! Four wives – WOW – and they call Southerners slow! Were any of them “juicies?” Oh – don’t fret about it – just go read some of your Army evaluations and things will look better in the morning. My husband says “No Thanks” to your offer; and, as for me, I will have to decline too because as much as I’d truly enjoy torturing terrorists, I don’t work with light weights such as yourself.
As for my Southern Pride – Nospam – I was raised to be proud of my family, my home, and my region – where are you from? Well – if you don’t care – why should I! Let me know what day you’d like to see the Mason Dixon Line – I’ll take you there myself and then tell you what side to stay on – but, I suspect we all know which side you belong on by now!
Hey NapoLeon – He’s not a deity – He’s The One and Only God – our Lord and Savior! I told my husband what you said about his controlling, jealous, short tempered, threatening, mentally abusive way in which he blames me (The Victim). Don’t let my standing up for myself fool you – victims can stand up for themselves! I told him that you also listed unrealistic expectations on the list in your blog (did you get this list the last time you went to counseling)? We’ve both been honest about our feelings for one another and given each other the option to leave many times and neither one of us seems to want to end it! I will attribute that to GOD (first) and then to the fantastic love (not mindless sex Blizozz) we use to share. I guess we’ll hold on to the end for just a hint of that bond again!
Hey Blizozz – my husband says your regular “juicy” can be bought for the price of a hamburger and “No Thanks”! I guess she’s all yours – or is she?!!! Hope the penicillin is working well for you. Turn now before you catch something that penicillin doesn’t cure.
And yes, Burma Bob, I prefer to feel something (even pain) rather than nothing. Now drink some more Soju and leave me alone while I stay off my medication (ha ha)!
TARGET ACQUIRED – MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY!
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March 18th, 2009 at 2:36 am
I’m fairly certain I’ve seen the Mason-Dixon line more times than you. And your pompous southern pride just shows how conceited you are.
Exactly what special traits did you get from being born a Virgina Mountain Girl, other than feeling entitled to brag about it.
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5:43 pm on March 17th, 2009 15
Wow, thank my God I’m not married to that…………… Hell, I might thank a few other God’s while I’m at it to make sure I give credit where it is due………..
Look, when you made the decision to stay with him after he cheated you should have made some attempt to get over it. You obviously haven’t after all this time. If you were never going to get over it, you should not have stayed.
You have given proof to others on this site (April) that it ain’t just TCNs that are to blame for everything.
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6:36 pm on March 17th, 2009 16
I think you misunderstood my post ma’am. The abusive relationship I was referring to isn’t the one you have with your husband. Let me help:
Controlling behavior
The manifestation of this trait of abuse in Christianity is evident – in order to have a relationship with someone, God demands nothing less than total control over every aspect of that person’s life. He orders his followers not to marry or be friends with those who believe differently (2 Corinthians 6:14-17); tells them how to dress (Leviticus 19:19, 1 Timothy 2:9); tells them how to act and speak (Deuteronomy 13:6-10, Leviticus 24:16) – and punishes those who disobey with death! – and otherwise demands that the person completely alter their life to better serve him and obey his desires. In both testaments, he views people as “his” and claims the right to force them to behave as he desires; he does not allow them to go their own way even if that is what they want, but exacts swift retribution on all who do not obey him.
Jealousy and possessiveness
This trait is perhaps the most obvious of all – the God of the Bible says that he is jealous (Exodus 34:14), to such an extent that he claims “Jealous” is his name. In both the Old and New Testaments, he reacts with great anger to any suggestion that a person might not be completely devoted to him alone – an anger without reason, since if he is the one true God, then the other deities people worship do not even exist, much less pose any threat to him. He mistrusts people, accusing them of sinning constantly (Psalms 53:3, Romans 3:10), and pursues them with obsessive jealousy, comparing those who worship other gods to prostitutes (Exodus 34:16). As one of the sites listed above (source 4) says, “Jealousy has nothing to do with love” but rather is “a sign of possessiveness and lack of trust”.
Misogyny
Male abusers often have an irrational hatred of and prejudice against women, and the God of the Bible is no different. He says that women are worth about half as much as men (Leviticus 27:3-7), and that a woman who gives birth to a girl child is ritually unclean for twice as long as if she had given birth to a boy (Leviticus 12:1-7). He allows men to have multiple wives (Solomon had hundreds), but never women to have multiple husbands. He says that men are to rule over women and women are to submit themselves to men (Genesis 3:16, 1 Corinthians 11:3, 1 Peter 3:1); even more so, he says that women are the property of men (Exodus 20:17, which includes wives along with houses, cattle, slaves, and other things that “belong” to one’s neighbor). He forbids women to make promises without the permission of their husband or father (Numbers 30:2-13), a trait that would be very typical of an abusive relationship. He demands that women remain silent in church and says it is a “shame” for them to speak there (1 Corinthians 14:34-35), and says that women may not teach men, but must learn from them in silence (1 Timothy 2:11-12). The consistent message of the Bible is that women are inferior to men in virtually every way. Could a healthy human relationship work like this? Would a loving husband demand his wife remain silent inside his house, or regard her as unclean and refuse to touch her after she had given birth to a daughter?
Mood swings and short temper
The bipolar nature of the Biblical God is evident from the text: though he claims to greatly love and bless those who obey him (Deuteronomy 7:9), even slight provocations cause him to react with sudden fury, and past obedience means little or nothing as soon as a person commits some sin. Never does God let people off with only a warning. He says that, if the Israelites turn away from him, he will destroy them “suddenly” (Deuteronomy 7:4); even David, Israel’s greatest king, was punished for a single act of disobedience – taking a census – with a plague that killed seventy thousand people (2 Samuel 24:15). In Deuteronomy 28, within a single chapter, the emphasis moves abruptly from the many great blessings and rewards God will confer upon the Israelites if they obey him (28:1-14) to the even more numerous and horrible punishments and curses he will send upon them if they stray (28:15-68). This bizarre, Jekyll-and-Hyde conflation of love and wrath would be viewed as mental illness if any human being did it; what emotionally healthy husband would tell his wife that he loved her with all his heart, then in the same breath threaten to kill her if she did not do exactly as he commanded?
Threats and violence
The realization of this defining characteristic of abuse in the Christian system seems too obvious to need comment. Throughout the Old Testament of the Bible, God threatens or commits innumerable violent acts against those who do not obey him exactly as he demands: deadly plagues (2 Samuel 24:15), years of slavery (Judges 3:8), forced cannibalism (Deuteronomy 28:53), violent death in battle (Isaiah 13:15), death by fire and flood (Genesis 19:24; Genesis 7:20-21), and death by stoning (Leviticus 24:16) – to name a few. But even the cruelties of the Old Testament shrink into insignificance before the most terrible threat of the New – the promise of eternal pain, of infinite suffering, in the fires of Hell reserved for those who will not accept its terms. Jesus’ dire warnings that we should fear the God who can consign us to this fate (Luke 12:5) only go to show how the Christian relationship, on its own terms, is built on fear and threats of violence.
Like many abusers, God is also cruel to animals and children. He once drowned all the world’s wildlife in the great flood, and instructed the Israelites to kill even the cattle of the heathen people whose land he had given them (1 Samuel 15:3). Children do not escape his wrath either. Not only did he order his marauding Israelites to kill even the young and newborn of the Canaanite cities (Joshua 10:40), not only did he drown them en masse in the deluge, he swore bloody vengeance against the unborn children of Samaria (Hosea 13:16), sent wild bears to maul the youths who mocked Elisha (2 Kings 2:24), and promised happiness to those who smashed children against stones (Psalms 137:9).
Only an abuser is physically violent against those he claims to love, and a sound, healthy relationship can never be built on the underlying threat of bodily harm. Violent behavior can coerce obedience, but never create love. On the contrary, it only provokes fear and resentment. Did it ever occur to the OT God that the Israelites strayed so often precisely because their relationship with him was so marked by abuse and unsatisfactory? Did it occur to him that his constant barrage of threats is what kept causing them to turn away?
Emotional abuse
In addition to physical violence, the Christian relationship with God is marked by emotional abuse and putdowns. After all, the foundational principle of this relationship, which we are told we must realize and accept before entering into it, is that we are wretches – depraved sinners who are incapable of pleasing God by our own efforts and who rightfully deserve eternal damnation in a place of suffering and despair too horrible to imagine (Romans 3:23, among others). This theme of humanity’s inferiority, of the worthlessness of our endeavors, of the fundamentally evil nature of our hearts, and of our total lack of importance in the face of the greatness of God, pervades the evangelical mindset, and is the epitome of insult and emotional abuse. One well-known Christian writer succinctly summed up what Christianity taught him about his own self-worth when he said, “The real test of being in the presence of God is that you either forget about yourself altogether or see yourself as a small, dirty object” (C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, book III, chapter 8, “The Great Sin”). And, an atheist might say in rejoinder, the real test of being in the presence of someone who truly loves you is that you know you are a valuable individual accepted for who you are.
Blaming the victim
True to form, the Biblical God does not accept that his own hair-trigger temper is the main reason for the cruelties he inflicts on humans. Instead, he claims that humans themselves are to blame for the punishments they suffer, that they force his hand by their sin and deserve what they get (Romans 6:23) – although by definition, no finite sin can merit an infinite punishment, and most of the so-called sins God punishes with death and slaughter do not even seem to be crimes at all, such as taking a census, or catching a holy relic to prevent it from falling off a cart (2 Samuel 24:1-15; 2 Samuel 6:6-7). God even claims that infants and unborn children deserve the horrifying fate he wreaks upon them (Hosea 13:16). In the midst of this blaming everyone but himself, there is one rare moment of candor – God admits that he destroyed an innocent man for no reason at all (Job 2:3) – but since this confession was made only to Satan, with no human standing witness, it should hardly be counted.
Hypercritical nature/unrealistic expectations
To hear the Christians tell it, God deliberately created humans imperfect, not just susceptible to sin but helpless to avoid it, and then demands moral perfection from us anyway – knowing full well it is a standard we cannot possibly meet. He then proceeds to criticize us constantly for not living up to this impossible standard, in one case comparing all people’s good deeds to filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). Rather than give us any credit for trying even when we fall short, it seems, nothing we can do is ever good enough for him.
Hope that helps!
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11:45 am on March 18th, 2009 17
Gosh. Let’s get back on track.
If some effort is being made to “gentrify” Silver Town, I say let’s give it the Korean Folk Village/Minseokcheon treatment, with a 4 square block area organized as follows.
-A strip of seedy bars, circa 1979. Each bar will have an old ajjumah dressed in a hanbok who introduces visitors to the ‘nice girls’, who have ‘just arrived’.
-Girls will have on costumes that make them look like the Supremes on Acid, with beehive hairdos requiring 1/4 can of hairspray to maintain rigidity
-No music later than 1983, but with plenty of cheesy 70’s Euro-pop. last song of the evening (bar has to close before ‘curfew’) will either be a schmaltzy rendition of Arirang, or even better “Free Bird”.
-Hire moonlighting English teachers to dress and play the part of drunk & horny GI’s.
-Bathrooms in the bars must look and smell as if someone exploded a putrid elephant carcass in them.
-Only drinks sold are skunked OB, jungle juice, and Oscar Champagne (except for girls’ drinks which are of course only bori-cha)
-Girls will live in the back of the club, in a battery of 10′ x 10′ rooms with a big bed, and the tackiest Korean lacquerware furniture that can be found (probably all precious ‘antiques’ now). A ‘yo-gang’ chamber pot, of course, and in winter a little round yeont’an stove.
-Remainder of ville will be soju kettle houses, fried mandu places, head shops, sewing & embroidery shops, marriage paperwork brokerages, and pharmacies
-Ah! a joint KNP/MP police box that also dispenses handfuls of free condoms. Can’t leave that out.
Of course like at Folk Village, we have to have some performances:
-The “Dash for the Gate” at curfew time.
- burnt-out yeontan toss
-jungle juice chugging contests
-projectile vomiting competition (distance, volume, degree of difficulty points added)
I smell big money in all of this, especially for hosting bus-loads of old guys back on nostalgia tours.
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March 18th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
Sounds like some places in Dongducheon.
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10:31 pm on June 7th, 2009 18
I loved A-Town. Was there most of 1975 and it was a place to go to let off steam. The girls were nice and we all got along. Good memories.
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3:30 am on June 8th, 2009 19
If I was married to a drama queen like the Virginia lady, I would volunteer for as many unaccompanied tours as I could away from her.
Ugh. Are you sure you aren’t KOREAN yourself? You sure sound like one of those controlling ajuma shrews… If you aren’t, come on over- you’d fit right in.
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4:21 am on September 19th, 2009 20
WOW… I suppose it doesn’t surprise me that the responses to VMG are so callous! My guess is that these responses come from either unmarried men or men who have cheated on their wives while away.
Does the sanctity of marriage not mean ANYTHING to you!?! Do you not understand the utter PAIN of being cheated on by the person you have promised to love and HONOR for the rest of your life??! Obviously NOT!
I don’t find VNG to be the mean, cruel, possesive, etc… woman you all make her out to be. She is a woman scorned. Yes, after so many years I think she should have been able to move on rather than harboring this for so long…I can’t see that as being healthy. For me personally, I don’t think I would have been there for him when he got home. I think it’s WRONG! If you can’t honor wife then move on and let her go! It is cruel what you enlisted men (and women) do to your spouses when away. Oh yes… I have heard the stories…and yes, I have heard the good ones too. Yes, we have a choice of marrying the military or not.
My husband is due to go to Korea soon…and WHY do you think I am here?!?! Because I am scared to death that he is going to end up hanging around some creeps like the ones posting here and do things he will regret forever! I realize he is a man…and human. But with the soju, peer pressure and any other temptation it’s hard for anyone to remain ’strong’. I have been STRONGLY considering HOW I could go and be there with him. I know he would want me to be there if I could… regardless of the flack he would more than likely attract from small minded people who care less about who they hurt. Other option is to forget Korea all together and the fantastic follow on we have! No where would be ‘home’ without the man I love so very much… and to consider the possibility that he COULD get caught up in the freakish little games you idiots play scares me to the core.
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September 28th, 2009 at 5:55 pm
I wish I was in your position SEXYWIZ – you still have a chance to keep the marriage you have! As my husband was preparing to go to Kunsan, I was planning on joining him (not sponsored by his command) in Korea after he got settled in. “Let him go first and get settled”, was the advice given to me by a servicewoman and friend I made at the base he was stationed at before Kunsan. She said, “He will have less trouble with his NCO’s if you let him go first and then join him.” Within two weeks, my husband was basically commanding me on the phone, “NOT TO COME – IT IS THE DIRTIEST PLACE I HAVE EVER SEEN AND I DO NOT WANT YOU AND OUR SON IN SUCH A DIRTY PLACE!” My husband was not one to ever raise his voice until this time. He had already cheated on me in the only (according to him) one night stand he has ever had or ever will have. Let me explain what happens when a serviceman arrives at Kunsan, or any other remote base in Korea. The first opportunity there is to go out – his “so called” new friends at his unit will take him out for what they call a “green bean.” They will get him drunk on soju – a Korean drink with a high content of alcohol. They will sometimes drink it from a large punch style bowl they call an ammo bowl. These so called friends will not necessarily stick around to make sure he doesn’t drink too much and die from alcohol poisoning as one serviceman did while my husband was stationed there – and if the newbie decides to buy one of the juicies ($20 or less) that have been sitting on his lap while he buys them juice all night then that is even better – his new friends don’t care. If any of them remember what happened the next day and see him, then they will make fun of him for missing the last bus of the night back to the base. They do not care that his marriage just ended!
My advice – and I only give it because I care about all military wives and husbands who care about their marriages and families – is to go to Korea with him (if not the same time, then go ahead of him and stay at a hotel like the Dragon Hill Lodge until he gets there. Accompany him from Seoul to his duty station. If he travels at least a week before he is due to check in then he ought to be able to find a place for you. It will be a hard year because of all the exercises and you will at times be alone in a foreign country; but, whenever he is able to get off base – YOU CAN BE THERE! Much of South Korea is still like a third world country; but, consider it a once in a lifetime experience and do a lot of sightseeing! If you have children, then home school them while you are there and take them sightseeing with you!!!
You could join him at the fantastic follow on base; but, speaking from experience – I wouldn’t even go to fabulous Italy and wait for my husband while he is in Korea. If you’re marriage doesn’t make it out of Korea, even Italy (or where ever your fantastic follow on is) can seem like HELL! Good luck to you both – I wish you both well and will pray for you both!!!
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3:17 pm on December 23rd, 2009 21
TO VMG:
I take personal exception of your description of the women of South Korea. Not all are whores, or prostitutes. And South Korea is not reminiscent of a third world country. I take exception also because my wife is from South Korea. We married in 1975 (and we are still together). She was not a bargirl. She was a survivalist. Its true that there are those bargirls, but they are simply (or at the time I was there) trying to survive in a male dominated society. My in-laws live in a very beautiful part of the southern part of S. Korea, and it doesn’t harken words such as third world. I also know for a fact that there are many stateside bases, that have these type of establishments, probably in so in your home state, could you care to look. You really should have gone on by yourself, because as you said, even to give your husband a hug today, many years after the fact, causes you to cringe. I’m sure your husband has tried, but have you reciprocated in kind. The tango does ake two.
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11:12 am on December 24th, 2009 22
I agree with everything stated above. I too was station at Kunsan AFB, betweeen 1975-1976. At some point you must let it go or move on.
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3:53 am on December 25th, 2009 23
Merry Christmas – all things are possible with God! RICCI – I do not believe I was speaking about Korean women such as your wife – in fact I am embarrassed by American men that go to foreign countries and act like this (embarrassed for our country)! Male dominated societies are not the problem – it’s the type of males! Not that it’s any of your information; but, I did give my husband many hugs and kisses both last night and this morning & our two youngest children and myself were up at 0230 to open gifts & spend some of our Christmas with him because he had to leave in order to pull Alert (a 24 hour shift) for the military! He did not volunteer – it was his turn! As for your information – my state does not allow any bars even remotely like the ones near Kunsan; the state next to us, however, does and the class and lifestyle of people in the area near these bars is very low class!!! Having said that, they do not need the type of patrols necessary at A-town! My life is looking better – hope yours is too!
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3:57 am on December 25th, 2009 24
RICCI – you did not name where your wife comes from; but, I am sure it is not near Kunsan from what you said. Open raw sewage ditches, fields fertilized with human waste, and public restrooms with holes in the floor (as toilets) does scream Third World Country – sorry!
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December 26th, 2009 at 8:41 pm
my wife in fact, is from Kwyang-ju. Comparing Korea as a 3rd world country, is like saying that those that live in Alpallachia is representive to the entire U.S. Unless you have personally been there, and seen these raw sewage ditches, fields fertilized with human waste and public restrooms with holes in the floor, you can’t really describe the beauty of Korea, even when there are like areas in the United States….I know, I’ve seen. Human manure my dear, is a very viable substance in growth of crops. Europe also employs this. I again know, as I am from Italy. I am assuming your husband may have provided you with stories about Korea that may be true, but that is to satisfy his guilt from what he did to you. Travel the states beyond your border, and you will see yourself that even here in the U.S., there are some areas that have no eletricity, no running water (hence, the Out House syndrome), and sewage problems. I truly invite you to take a trip to Korea and see for yourself about the living conditions there. In the meantime, how many Johns get arrested here in the U.S. plying their needs of the prostitutes here. I dare say, more than the population of Korea.
Merry Xmas
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12:27 am on December 27th, 2009 25
I am quite aware of Appalachia – I come from 8+ generations of mountain people from this region and I remember using the outhouse at my Grandma’s house when I was young. They are no longer used in that capacity anymore. There are hunting camps and recreational places here still with them; but, not the main toilet in a permanent dwelling like they use to be! Things have changed since 1975 in the States – even in Appalachia? Unlike you – I would argue with anyone about the character of the people from Appalachia and their stereotype (they are mostly wonderful, hardworking people who would give you the shirt off their back even if that’s all they had left); however, the conditions they live in are often deplorable and you can thank the coal companies for that!!! It wasn’t great when the coal companies were there; but, it got even worse when most of them folded up and left! My people were there before the coal companies and faired a little better as a whole. I would not consider Appalachia mainstream America and I do not know anyone, domestic or foreign who ever has. As for places like A-town (girly bars exist; but, not whole towns for such things); and, in these small Appalachian towns, the girls stupid enough to get involved in this get quite a name for themselves and are always on the losing end! I have known of people in these areas that were shot for a lot less than what goes on in A-town and often the law looked the other way when they knew justice was being done. As for your information, I have wanted to go to Korea for many years – starting with when my husband was there – just so I could be by his side because I love him and missed him from the moment he stepped on the plane – then, to see for myself what Korea was like – then to stop what is going on, etc., etc., etc.; but, my husband is not a well off officer and there has never been money for such trips so if you hear of an opportunity for me to go – let me know!!! I am not about to take money meant for college for my children and apply it toward a sightseeing trip to Korea for myself! As for my opinions – I do not just take my husband’s word at what he says about Korea – I ask everybody I come across that has ever been to Korea what they think (and I listen to the response before I discuss a few things) and what I hear most (from people who know Kunsan which is the place I am referring to) tell me it is, and I quote, “the armpit of the world.” These are not my words!!! As for Italians – my mother is Italian Canadian (we grew up working large gardens) and none of my relatives on that side would ever fertilize their fields with human waste! Although scientifically, I do not question that there are nutrients in human waste that help the soil and grow the plants; however, my mother cringes at the mere thought of such a thing. I also know not so great farmers that put chicken litter in the feed they give their cattle, unbeknownst to the feed lots they often end up at before the slaughter house and the grocery store. A little is not bad; but, a lot will burn the hair right off a cow! Notice, I didn’t talk about the dog industry in Korea – we have our ways and they have theirs; but, governments, military brass, and business men/women that make a living off ruining lives and families as is done in A-town have no excuse for what they are responsible for and there is a price to be paid!
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1:27 am on December 27th, 2009 26
WVG
I have known of people in these areas that were shot for a lot less than what goes on in A-town and often the law looked the other way when they knew justice was being done.
Wow! Are you admitting that lynchings still go on in your part of the country? Just out of curiosity, who deserved to be shot — the A-Town woman or your husband? Who was the offender and who was the victim?
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1:52 am on December 27th, 2009 27
The victim – ME – THE WIFE!!!
The offender – THE JUICY & MY HUSBAND!!!
ANY QUESTIONS?
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1:59 am on December 27th, 2009 28
Hello there VMG. I read your post last week. I decided not to respond, as it was obvious to me that nothing would appease your bitterness. This is by no means an attempt either. But I did want to address a couple of points.
The armpit of the world is not located in Korea. For me, the armpit is a little place called Iraq. Korea is Heaven compared to there. Whoever told you that is a very soft individual and likely from a “northen” state. If not they would be happy in one.
Human waste is as good as any other waste. It may scream “third world” to you, but if your poor and have a shortage of livestock, it looks like common sence.
Now I have never been to A-town. Heard about it when I deliverd some rotor blades on a flat bed and had to stay the night there. After hearing about it, I decided it was a piss-poor copy of every “ville” out side every military base in Korea and the Philippines. Reminded me of Killeen Texas really, that only exist because of Fort Hood. I even ran into some girls working in korean bars in Killeen, that I first met in AnJong-Ri. Lets not forget the bars in Clarksville TN, outside Fort Campbell KY.
Interesting that you Blame “governments, military brass, and business men/women that make a living off ruining lives and families”.
The governments are too far removed to care. More important issues than your family. That is your job.
Military brass has their OERs and Company, Battalion and Base to worry about. There are organizations within the military to help you and your family. They are usefull, use them. Your responsibility to do so.
Business men and women. Well, their job is Business. You know, feeding THEIR familys. If the American troops want suits, someone will make and sell them. I still own two myself. If the troops want food, someone with kids to feed will open stores and restaurants. If the troops want a bar to drink at and music to listen to, someone will open them also. The people that open these bars have kids of their own to feed and send to school. The troops will spend money. Might as well spend it at THEIR bar. There are all the same places on base as well, to include bars. MWR needs to make money also. Base needs a new golf course.
I went to a bar called the Mustang while in 2ID up north. I had one girl that I talked to and spent money on. Brought her on base on her days off. She was good company on friday and saturday night, at the bar. She was Korean as opposed to the russian and philippine women that were invading. I would help my friend with her english and she with my korean (hongul).
I met the owner’s wife and his two daughters at a barbeque they invited me too.
Nice People. At least to me.
My point is this; none of those people ruined any lives. They provided a place to go, music to hear and food to eat. In exchange for the american dollar of course.
If you didn’t like their place/stuff, you were free to not go there.
Women there had their price too. They also have to eat and again, if you didn’t want them, that was ok. Your free to not partake in whatever pleasures they may have. A person is responsible for their actions.
Bottom line is this. No one in Korea is responsible for ruining your life.
IF, and I say “if” your married life is ruined, there are two individuals that are responsible. Your Man didn’t have to go and enjoy himself. He also didn’t have to tell you what he did. I assume he told you because he loved you and was sorry.
I assume he went and enjoyed himself because he is a man, and as a man I will say that most of us are not that smart. Hint: that is why we marry women.
I have known many people that allow hate to destroy what they have or might have.
Both men and women. Koreans and Americans.
I spent nine years in Korea; 4years-back again for 3years-back again for 2years.
I never did marry. Thought about it a few times. But I saw more pain and divorce
during those nine years than I EVER wanted to see. Some had no koreans involved, at all!
I’m retired now, and no one has to listen to me. That’s ok. I don’t have to listen to anyone either and that’s great. So feel free to disregard every thing
I say. (won’t bother me)
Korea does have some beautifull areas. I was in the chow line once and heard a guy that was leaving korea, telling a new guy how much korea sucked. He even said that korea didn’t even have any mountains.
( He spent a year there and never looked at a map!)
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December 27th, 2009 at 3:15 am
“Whoever told you that is a very soft individual and likely from a “northen” state.”
I presume you meant “northern” state, but did you have to go there?
The last time the south thought the north was too soft and challenged them to put up their dukes, the south didn’t fare well.
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December 27th, 2009 at 11:20 am
Beg to differ there joe.
The South was supposed to be whipped in one battle. The Gentleman and fair northern Ladies brought their picnic baskets and sat on the hill to watch the battle. Sadly, the South did such a fine job that it lasted three bloody years. You can smile about it, if you think that’s funny.
In every fight someone loses. (UFC)
The last I heard succession from the union has been spoken of again in 2009. I believe it was Texas.
The winners write the history books. Do some research. As for the south not faring well after the war, that is very true. Not forgotten in most parts. Again, do some research.
So back to 2009. What did you think of the rest of my post. You did read past that part didn’t you?
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December 27th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
Retired GI wrote-
“Lets not forget the bars in Clarksville TN, outside Fort Campbell KY.”
Or the bars and strip clubs in Jacksonville and Fayettville NC outside respectively Camp Lejeune and Fort Bragg. I underwent FMTB training at the former.
In spite of my being taken to a strip joint after my training was completed , gotten drunk for only the 2nd(and last) time in my life, and had one or two Marines(Can’t remember the exact total because of the alcoholic haze I was in) willing to buy me a hooker, I took a pass. It wasn’t easy, peer pressure is terrible and I was a unmarried 19-year-old six letter word that ends with an n. BOY it wasn’t easy, but I can understand those who don’t have the strength knowing at the same time it would be wrong for a married man to engage in sex with someone other than his wife.
VMG, I never cheated on my Philippine born wife of 20 years or ever been physical with her, but I got many other faults. Some that would give her good reason to be bitter or angry. I know for a fact she has had those feelings on a temporary basis towards me. Unlike you, she has forgiven me and not let the feelings poison her soul and her marriage.
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December 27th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
That should be FMST above not FMTB.
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8:00 am on December 27th, 2009 29
I just wanted to follow up since some time has passed… we are now down to the wire. My husband leaves in a little over a week. Yes, I am still very ‘nervous’ about him leaving. But after this time I am nervous because I simply don’t want to be without him. I am no longer nervous about him cheating on me. We have grown tremendously over the past few months and I realize how dearly he truely loves me and I feel that he doesn’t want to lose that over an indescretion. Also, I am VERY lucky in that my son is there too so they will have each other to lean on. I am also fortunate in that I will get to go visit them in the spring.
VMG… quite being the victim! You are allowing this to eat at you every day. “Shit or get off the pot”. He was just as much at fault as she was…he had to opportunity to make any of the choices he made, it was nobody elses fault. I am sure he was(is) sorry. Move on. It’s not Korea’s fault, it’s not the military’s fault… the fault lies with only one person… the one who made the choice. I sincerely hope that one day you can move past your bittterness and have a better outlook on life. I admit, you had me REALLY scared after reading your post but my husband and I have been working VERY hard to strengthen what we have and make to make the best of this situation.
I’m not saying I don’t understand your bitterness.. I do.
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December 27th, 2009 at 11:46 am
After reading your post, I would like to tell you something.
You have nothing to worry about! The circumstances for you and your man are different these days.
You and he have talked about it.
Korean women nolonger work in the bars
Now the girls are imports from the Philippines—the ugly ones
Korea is a rich country now and the “GI” is seen as poor and of no value.
When you go to visit him, make sure he has leave time saved up and take a tour to Sorak Mountain. Beautiful!!
Eat some Kimche and learn a few words. They give you a big smile when they see you try to speak. Even if you mess it up, you tried and they like that.
I’m sure all will be well and your visit will be a great memory!
email often and send pictures. Sexy ones
Back in the day, we called a tour in korea “divorced for a year”.
No longer applies with email and video. Times have changed!
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12:16 pm on December 27th, 2009 30
SEXYWIZ’s husband – I would say I’m impressed with you, you’ve controlled your wife’s thinking; but, I was reassured by my husband too and he said I was crazy for even thinking some girl would come on to him there (A-town girls are a little more than a come on) – HE DOESN’T QUESTION ME ANYMORE! And yes, I heard how he could only love me – he did the same thing you’ve been doing – he layed nice ground work and then he left (all bets off at that point)!
Good luck SEXYWIZ – talk to me in a year! I hope your husband realizes he needs to set a good example for your son while they’re both over there – you have a little more than I did by having a family member near your husband. Just to let you know though, if men have nothing to gain (such as a woman), they usually cover each other’s butts – husbands, sons, fathers, buddies, etc.! My husband is not in Korea and never will be again so I am “crapping in the pot” through this outlet so no military wife that reads this will ever be as niave as I was! No, I don’t visit this site at all – when someone comments – I read and see if I care enough to write back! I’ve stood alone many years SEXYWIZ – I hope you can if necessary, you won’t have me on your side! You’ve made some bold statements and you talk a little tough; I hope your husband lives up to your claims and you don’t become one of the majority marriages that fall apart during Korea or after!
I wish I was as bitter as you people think; but, I have truly enjoyed having an outlet here after so many years!!! 2,500 views and counting – not bad!
P.S.
Retired GI – Many members of my family (including myself) have gone hungry a time or two; but, none of us have ever sold ourselves and ruined someone else’s family and marriage – that is off limits!!! You were right about one thing – my husband is from just over the line “The North” and boy, had I known what a Grand Canyon Bull Run really was I would have never ventured to the other side. Thanks to my husband and his “Northen” ways, I will forever fight for “Dixie”!
JoeC – I think Retired GI spelled Northern the way he did not because of a spelling error; but, Southerners love to hear Northerners try to sound like us! By the way, we’re taught in the South to keep getting up – the South is alive and well!!!
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December 27th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
VMG,
I also see you keep coming back to a post written 14 months ago and which you joined in for the first time 7 months ago. Not knowing anything else about you, I might say you were obsessive. As I have read what you have written, I’d DEFINITELY describe you as obsessive. I’m therefore surprised you and your husband are still married, but that all depends if you’re telling the truth here.
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3:46 pm on December 27th, 2009 31
It is very obvious you retain a lot of bitterness whether you choose to admit it or not. Not ALL men do the things your husband did. My husband does not control my thinking either. We are just two ‘mature’ adults who have learned how to communicate with each and WANT to be strong for each other. Your cynicism is revolting… I truely am sorry you had this misfortune in your life. It happens to a lot of people, yes, I realize this but your insinuation that my husband will act as irresponsibly as your husband did is completely unfair. There are GI’s out there who do value their wives, their families and their relationships… and then to assume my son will ‘cover’ for him! Agina, your bitterness is still there and it shows in EVERY post you make.
Retired GI… thanks! I do intend to make the best of it and we are really looking forward to that visit. I know many of the girls are now imports… I have a friend that is there as well as my son that just got there, they tell us all about it. Things ARE different than the days when VMG’s husband was there and I refuse to let her bitterness reflect on my husband or our relationship!
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5:16 pm on December 27th, 2009 32
My opinion of the “ville” life is that it (was) a pleasant distraction for those that wanted one. I often wanted one, but I was not married.
If there is a problem (and there is) it is that the military no longer gives a “briefing” on it when you arrive. Back in the 80s we had two weeks of “new comers” briefings. Didn’t stop all the trouble, but when you went out the gate you had an idea of what was going on. In 2003 I showed up was given a room and told about work. No briefing. Again, I blame PC or Political Correctness. That or the command doesn’t care.
But my CO and Top were both a bit “light” upstairs. I can’t say that about ALL my COs and Tops. But it was sadly true of that Aviation unit on Camp Humphreys in 2003.
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8:19 pm on December 27th, 2009 33
This is great stuff. I enjoy reading this. Again, I was station at Kunsan between 1975-1976. I was a young 21 yr old (not married). I met alot of great people. They are a very proud people with a lot of history. I came off active duty in 1979. I went into the law enforcement field. I lieve 35 miles north of Atlanta. VMG, just want you to know, I have seen the worse side of people and they were not in Korea.
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9:17 pm on December 27th, 2009 34
VMG: I truly hope that you and your family can get past what occured while your husband was stationed in Korea, but remember, its not just Korea. There are many places in the world we in the military are posted, and not under the most ideal situations. Stress is evident in any situation, and how you deal with stress is an individual act. Your husband, which i’m sure is a very noble person, was in a situation that you CANNOT blame on any establishment, government or country. He chose at that moment to enter a discretion that shed on his weakness, surely not his love for you. I conmnend you and your family not having to resort to personal siutations in life that cause one to resort to methods of survival such as experienced by others. I hope that you can understand that experiences subjected on someone, does not necessarily demean ones ability to survive, such as my wife and I see every day on the streets of america, be they homeless, or prostitutes. There was an earlier posting on this site that stated that in no way was any pressure prevailed to commit any violation of morales and values. Its an agreement for gratification and survival. My wife who has read your postings is truly upset that you are unable to release the venom you set forth in your continued hatred of korean women, and call her country a 3rd world country. It happens everywhere, and it will continue. There were many men in my military career who upheld the sanctity of marriage, and reused to put themselves in a contradicting situation, and others that I have met that fell to their weakeness, not peer pressure. Please, please, please, lay off Korea. You do not not their culture, history, or survival. It happens in all manners of society, be it Korea, Thailand, Great Britan, Europe as whole, etc. There is no “arm pit”. The “arm pit” is ignorance Americans show of others, and their ability to assimilate. Americans are arogant and see others as culturally below our standards. You need to accept and understand that what you currently enjoy is truly a gift. I do, as I am an immigrant to this country who daily am gracious of what I have been blessed with, but also tolerant and cognizant of what I (and my wife) had to live with as we grew up. This is my last posting to VMG. I truly hope that you can search and understand this world is served by ma ny different people, and that strenghts and weakness is an individual act. As I said, your husband, who is what, on a “alert” status, is cognizant of his character, and he continues each day to have that put to the test. EMBRACE HIM, BE THERE FOR HIM, COMFORT HIM. If you cannot, RELEASE HIM.
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9:29 pm on December 27th, 2009 35
I made a statement in my previous posting that said that Americans are arrogant. I apoligize for that statement. I did not mean that. I meant to state that that are those that believe in America that we are above all others. Thats true in any society. And being Italian, we have a certain arrogance as well. However, since I am an a naturalized citizen, I consider myself an American of Italian heritage.
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11:47 pm on December 28th, 2009 36
I was at Kunsan for most of 1975. I loved A-Town. I spent some of my happiest days there. I was treated great.
As open as it was I knew many guys who fell in love there. Perfectly natural when away from home for a year and alone. In my dreams I wish I could see how it looks now. I accept change as natural. Still, there are many nights I wish I were 19 again and back in A-Town.
I’ll never forget A-Town.
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2:29 pm on January 14th, 2010 37
Virgina Mountain Girl (and others). I married a juicy from Kunsan back in the 70’s after ending some scornful relationships with American wome (such as yourself). I look at my wife everyday and think of how lucky I am. No need to justify what I or she did, it all worked out and we are happy. You need to forget the fact that your husband cheated because it was inevitable. if you can’t forgive then you can’t understand that that people are all human and they all SIN. I hope you find peace in your life.
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1:33 am on January 15th, 2010 38
Virginia Mountain Girl,
The choice is to let today erase yesterday…
…or let yesterday erase the rest of your life.
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