By Via the ROK Drop Forums comes this story about a Chinese man that definitely proves the old saying of, with friends like this who needs enemies?:
A man has died after an eel that was inserted into his rectum gnawed away at his bowels, causing agonising injuries which were eventually fatal.
The 59-year-old man, a chef, was reportedly taken to a Sichuan hospital complaining of abdominal pain, dehydration and a great deal of anal bleeding. He was soon diagnosed as being in a severe state of shock.
Doctors were mystified as to the cause, and obtained permission from his family to undertake an exploratory laparotomy. Cutting open his innards, they discovered a 50cm long Asian swamp eel lodged in his rectum.
Though dead, the eel had apparently already wrought havoc on his innards, biting its way through his intestines prior to dying. Internal bleeding and infection rapidly set in.
He was reported to have eaten a lot of eel the previous day, but otherwise doctors had no idea how the creature had got there. His condition quickly worsened.
He lingered for 10 days in intensive care but eventually succumbed to the injuries and sepsis.
The likely cause was eventually established – he had apparently been drinking with friends, and had passed out. His friends had decided it would be amusing to insert a live eel into his anus whilst he was comatose.
Police have reportedly begun an investigation.
5:02 am on May 7th, 2010 1
Well… I guess there isn't much more we can add to that.
7:31 am on May 7th, 2010 2
Except to say that those stories your folks told you about not hanging around with folks who drink might be true!!!
9:20 am on May 7th, 2010 3
I thought it was "With friends like these who needs enemas?"
/You missed a golden opportunity GI….
9:28 am on May 7th, 2010 4
Good one.
6:35 pm on May 7th, 2010 5
What a way to go!
7:42 pm on May 7th, 2010 6
I guess he felt eel.
9:43 pm on May 7th, 2010 7
It looks like there will be no charges.
…it turns out it wasn't an electric eel.
One thing's for sure, though. His friends have strange mores.
…that's a pun on morays, by the way.
12:30 am on May 8th, 2010 8
Comments for this post would not have been complete without Chickenhead's contribution.
10:44 pm on May 8th, 2010 9
Friend like that are a pain in the…
12:21 am on May 9th, 2010 10
Perhaps drugs are to blame.
…maybe they were smoking eelgrass.
3:35 am on May 9th, 2010 11
One more Chinese organ donator found.
But oops… the eel ate it all. Forge that ideal.
But never fear, his friends have just voluteered to take his place in the government program.
4:07 am on May 9th, 2010 12
Dang Tom, that was funny! If my Dell blows up from the coffee which just sprayed on it after coming out of my nose, you owe me a new computer!!
1:06 pm on May 9th, 2010 13
Q: How is that Chinese guy like Naomi Campbell at a PETA protest?
A: Neither of them like hurting a seal.
Get it?
…hurting a seal?
…hurting ass eel?
I just know I have to spell this stuff out for some of you… or you will think the crazy one is ME.
4:02 pm on May 9th, 2010 14
There was an eel wind when this story got the eyes and the eels of the world. This story falls on the eels of other infamous stories. There just be a moray to it.
Had it occurred in December could we call it the first No-eel?
/fishnets look better with eels
6:53 pm on May 9th, 2010 15
Q: How does the Chinese man know his friends really loved him?
A: That's a-moray.
9:38 pm on May 9th, 2010 16
[...] May 10, 2010 by Daniel Why women generally have longer average life expectancy: One, men seem to like getting really drunk and two, we have friends that take really good care of us once we do as shown by this. [...]
12:05 am on May 10th, 2010 17
Looks like a Drill Sergeant Eel. Gave that guy a real ass chewing.
4:09 am on May 11th, 2010 18
Q: What's the difference between the Chinaman's butt and the Titanic?
A: Both of their bottoms were cracked but his was sealed.
…which is a pun on "sea eeled" for those of you who are going, "Huh?"
12:52 pm on May 11th, 2010 19
Q: What is the Chinese guy's favorite post-apocalyptic Denzel Washington film?
A: The Book of Eel Eye
1:55 pm on May 11th, 2010 20
I guess the physicians were eelated when they finally got to the bottom of why the guy died. The poor eel bit off more than it could chew. His drinking buddies must have been really all f'd up. I don't think I'll be ordering any eel sushi anytime soon.
4:13 pm on May 12th, 2010 21
Q: What's the worst kind of eel to have in your ass?
A: George Michael
4:41 pm on May 12th, 2010 22
Dr-eel SGT George Mich-eel? Haz mad skeelz
2:04 am on May 16th, 2010 23
Q: How is the sound of the Chinese man's butt like a well-made garter?
A: The elastic is hardly noticeable.
…the eel ass tick, that is.
11:42 pm on May 17th, 2010 24
lol that was hilarious. nice one chickenhead
8:13 pm on May 21st, 2010 25
Q: How did he feel about his intestines?
A: elated
…eel ate it
9:41 pm on June 10th, 2010 26
Q: What does Tibet get that could have saved the Chinese guy's life?
A: Advice from Richard Gere.
2:34 am on June 14th, 2010 27
Q: What's the difference between Brad Altman and an eel?
A: which side of Korea they go in
5:57 am on June 15th, 2010 28
Q: When do you envy the Chinese guy?
A:
http://www.robotmonkeylab.com/Monkeyshop/Eel/Merm…
Q: When DON'T you envy him?
A:
http://www.eeltraps.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/0…
11:24 am on October 11th, 2010 29
George Michael made some scandals a couple of years ago but i love his music`~.