By Here is a good story in the Stars & Stripes about a family who has adopted two children from a local Korean orphanage during their stays in Korea:
Like many expectant mothers, Elizabeth Berdine is eager to welcome the newest official member of her family. But she isn’t waiting to go into labor; she’s waiting for a judge’s permission.When that permission comes, Danny will become the fourth child of Elizabeth and her husband, Lt. Col. Dan Berdine, and the second they’ve adopted from the Hwa Sung Babies’ Home in Seoul.
While the Berdines had to work around obstacles in both adoptions, they said the second time has been far more difficult due to changing laws and attitudes.
According to a 2008 New York Times article, South Korea changed its adoption laws in an effort to rid the country of a reputation as a market for foreign adoptions.
Since 1958, two-thirds of those adoptions have been to U.S. parents. The article said South Korea hopes to end foreign adoption altogether by 2012.
The government is trying to increase local adoptions by allowing single South Koreans to qualify, as well as older people up to age 60.
“South Korea is the world’s 12th largest economy and is now almost an advanced country, so we would like to rid ourselves of the international stigma or disgrace of being a baby-exporting country,” Kim Dong-won, who oversees adoptions at the Ministry of Health, was quoted as saying in the Times article. “It’s embarrassing.” [Stars & Stripes]
Read the rest at the link.
4:29 pm on September 3rd, 2010 1
The Berdines are an outstanding family, those are two lucky kids. They also share a great deal of love for Korea so they will not be completely uprooted.
4:36 pm on September 3rd, 2010 2
May God bless them.
4:56 pm on September 3rd, 2010 3
Waiting for Tom…
9:37 pm on September 3rd, 2010 4
That article is from January 2009.
“South Korea is the world’s 12th largest economy and is now almost an advanced country…"
Almost?
12:13 am on September 4th, 2010 5
Next up, on ROK Drop…
Doughboys Gay as Zeppelin Delivers Vacuum Tubes
2:06 am on September 4th, 2010 6
"Waiting for Tom…"
I'm here.
"The Berdines are an outstanding family, those are two lucky kids."
How do you know? Only because they adopted the kid? I'm not saying they're not outstanding. I'm just asking you how you're sure they're not abusing the kids, for instance? Not all adoptions are done out of unselfish reasons.
South Korea should stop the export of kids and stop the foreign adoptions which are not helping the already decreasing and aging population. These are Korean kids, they should be raised in Korea by Koreans.
4:58 am on September 4th, 2010 7
Tom, I know the Berdines and they are very good people who want to share their life and love with kids in need. They have an adult daughter who is in the picture. Only you can turn a great sacrifice and gift of love into a bucket of crap.
Those two boys are very lucky for three reasons. Their chances of adoption by Korean parents are very low. They get a great new mom and dad who will show them the very best of two cultures and they won't have to live their lives without parents. If you are so concerned you should adopt Korean kids to keep them raised by Koreans.
Oh yea…you're a little troll and not much for sacrifice just throwing crapola. Go crawl back under your rock and look for English teachers dating women who won't give you the time of day.
5:03 am on September 4th, 2010 8
Yeah…should of, would of, could of…
You know damn well that without foreign adoptions, most kids in Korea waiting to be adopted will never be adopted and will very likely grow up to be outcasts and something other than productive members of Korean society.
Tom – have you ever been to a Korean orphanage?
9:45 am on September 4th, 2010 9
I've been to a Korean orphanage.
South Korean adoptions now out number foreign adoptions, since 2009. So the statement "most kids in Korea waiting to be adopted will never be adopted", is not only true, it's a lie. More Koreans are adopting than ever, and the K-government should shut down this export operations of babies.
10:37 am on September 4th, 2010 10
"These are Korean kids, they should be raised in Korea by Koreans."
Tom, please elaborate on the reasons you think this. Why do you think being raised by 'Koreans' would be in the best interest of these kids? What exactly is your definition of 'Korean'? Would a nice 'Korean' family from Pyongyang be acceptable compared to this American Lt. Col and his wife? You sound as if you think it would be acceptable to leave them to rot in the Korean orphanage system rather than give them a quality life and education somewhere else.
I really like how you try to suggest that the American family may be 'child abusers'. I would point to child abuse statistics comparing South Korea and the USA but since child abuse and sexual assault are barely even considered crimes in Korea, especially if you are drunk at the time, I would have trouble comparing apples to apples if I could even find any valid numbers.
11:25 am on September 4th, 2010 11
"I really like how you try to suggest that the American family may be ‘child abusers’.:
I guess you can't read at all? That's not what I wrote. Can you read? Plus, not all adoptions ended up happily ever after. Some of the adoptions have also been ended up with abuses.
" You sound as if you think it would be acceptable to leave them to rot in the Korean orphanage system rather than give them a quality life and education somewhere else."
Again, you can't read can you? I didn't say the kids should rot in the orphanages. I said Koreans should take care of Koreans, is that such a terrible thing to say? Koreans should be encouraged to adopt, and stop selling these children abroad for money. This is scandalous in a country where the number of childless couples have increased, and the number of children have shrunk by half compared to the 1970's. Your other misconception is that Koreans don't adopt. Not anymore, more and more Koreans are adopting, and Foster homes are being encouraged, as it is being now. Koreans should be given a chance to eradicate the remaining prejudices against orphans. But as long as the foreigners keep on buying Korean babies, the job becomes doubly hard. There are Ehiopian babies that are going begging on international markets, I don't see them being internationally adopted as much. Why don't the parents adopt them, if they're so concerned about saving babies of the world?
11:28 am on September 4th, 2010 12
Domestic adoptions outnumber foreign adoptions.
http://kadnexus.wordpress.com/2009/02/17/domestic…
12:35 pm on September 4th, 2010 13
Adoptions are the fault of the two idiot parents who don't have the brains God gave goldfish.
Sure…everyone loves sex….but unless one uses common sense…avoid getting pregnant or getting her pregnant….more adoptions will happen.
A few minutes of pleasure for a lifetime of misery for that child? Is it worth it?
If you are going to have a child…then be responsible at least.
12:44 pm on September 4th, 2010 14
These kids are in good hands with the Berdine Family, I can say that as I know them too. All on the net can rest their concerns about that. At the end of the day, the child that has loving parents, whether natural or adopted, Korean or American or from wherever, is blessed indeed.
3:10 pm on September 4th, 2010 15
First I resent the "god bless them" platitudes. If god had wanted to lift a f@cking little finger to "bless" them, perhaps they wouldn't be in an orphanage. Good on the adoptive parents, I see "god" as the bad guy on this one.
Second, to Tom: "Germany for the Germans!"
4:11 pm on September 4th, 2010 16
Tom,
Gee… I wonder if the fact that the Korean gov't has drastically reduced the number Korean kids from being adopted by foreigners has skewed the percentages?
What are the actually numbers of Koreans adopting Korean kids? How much have they increased?
4:12 pm on September 4th, 2010 17
Shaking your fist at God LaPorte, it'll do you no good. But that's your choice, whatever the consequence. Like the choices others make that result in "unwanted" children, etc. Free to think of themselves, or of more than themselves; free to enjoy the pleasure of the moment, or defer to a better time; free to choose wisely, or stupidly; free to reap the benefit, or suffer for it, free to help or to hurt others in an ever widening ripple of consequences, good or bad, intended and unintended. God have mercy on the whole planet of us for the poor choices we make. And thank God for good choices, as in the response of this adoptive family to the needs of these children.
4:40 pm on September 4th, 2010 18
God, or more accuratley from what I can tell: Satan, has nothing to do with what good people do. Why is it so hard to bless those who make others lives better without calling on some bronze age sky fairy? Why bellittle the good and moral deeds of firemen, doctors, soldiers, policmen and good samaritans with this BS? Why?
When you have an operation that saves your life you say "Thank god for the miracle." How about thanking the skill of the learned and skilled doctor? Sick. "god" is mearly an excuse to treat other humans badly. Why not ask for Zeus' or Apollo's blessing. They were once as real to others as your silliness is real to you. Are you that weak? Sad.
If we could cut the cancer that is religion out of the soul of mankind, that my good man would cure many ills. It would be beautiful. Come out of the darkness of dogma and superstition and into the light of logic and reason. Love your fellow man and care for him. This is the only life we have, make the most of it. These kids are lucky and I wish all involved well but they are in no way blessed, nor should they be.
5:51 pm on September 4th, 2010 19
I have read these forums for the past couple of years and have always chosen to stay silent through countless "contoversial" post. Comments made by active posters, from one extreme or the other, always offer a different perspective on issues. Some I would agree with, others I would not. After reading some of the comments here I can remain silent no longer…
I know the Dan mentioned in this article. To put it simply would be to state he is a good man, probably better than most of you reading my comments save a few. He, along with his family, knew they had more to offer in their lives than to satisfy their own selfish desires. They opened their home, and more importantly their lives, to orphaned children. Is there some international debate required about the pro's and con's of adoption? Is there some need to debate religion in the fact that God's hand did not touch these poor orphans by allowing them to be abandoned in the first place? Such discussions only detract from the fact that a man such as Dan, along with his beautiful family, opened their door, their love, and their lives to the most precious gift of life…children. Dan is a better man than I. I am not too proud to state that even knowing I have already raised two children of my own. He and his family are accepting the responsibility of raising these children on behalf their parents who, for whatever reason, chose not to. If the birth parents of these orphans actually met Dan….well…I wish that same honor amongst some you.
My hat's off to Dan, for more reason's than this article that only highlights one small aspect of his life. I say that because I have the pleasure of knowing him.
3:09 am on September 5th, 2010 20
"Gee… I wonder if the fact that the Korean gov’t has drastically reduced the number Korean kids from being adopted by foreigners has skewed the percentages?"
Measures have been taken to increase adoptions by South Koreans, for example, infants must first be proposed to Korean families; only after five months may they be proposed to a foreign family. Only after a five month waiting period, do the babies be allowed to be adopted by overseas couples.
So yes, the adoption of Korean babies by foreigners have been reduced because more Koreans have stepped in and have adopted, so you figure it out yourself how much domestic adoption has increased. Frankly, I think the K-government should increase the waiting period to one year, and increase the chance of more Koreans to adopt domestically. Better yet, just end the foreign adoption program altogether and put in encourage more foster parents to look after the kids who are not adopted.
4:04 pm on September 5th, 2010 21
"I’m just asking you how you’re sure they’re not abusing the kids, for instance? Not all adoptions are done out of unselfish reasons."
And why do assume the worst case scenario? Other than the fact that they're foreginers, Americans, or just non Koreans?
"South Korea should stop the export of kids and stop the foreign adoptions which are not helping the already decreasing and aging population. These are Korean kids, they should be raised in Korea by Koreans."
Translation – "The Korean government should prevent foreigners from adopting OUR people, even if it turns out to be what's best for the child."
Call me a libertarian, but I don't think it's the government's job to interfere with private decisions between two consenting parties, as long as the host parents are found fit to adopt. Only the kid and whoever acts as his legal guardian should have a say in the matter.
You seem quietly offended by the notion of "foreign" parents taking away one of our own. Love is love, my friend. If my parents ditched me and some loaded Americans wanted to adopt me, I'd learn to say "I love you" soon enough.
4:24 pm on September 6th, 2010 22
Hello to all. Guess I should say something here. Didn't know our adoption of two great boys, who just happen to be Korean. Both were from the same orphanages and were friends and brothers there, we just made them brothers in the same family. We were blessed to have the means and love in our family to adopt these wonderful boys. Our oldest was adopted when foreigners were allowed to do so domestically. Since 2002 domestic adoptions for foreigners have been stopped by the Korean government so our second son was adopted privately, an almost two year process. I actually had to retire from the Army to ensure we had the time to complete the adoption. If you look at the picture, I don't think anyone in their right mind would even think these boys are abused or otherwise mistreated. After our adoption of our first son and our return to Korea we felt led to adopt another child. We actually brought home a baby girl and started the process of private adoption but the birth mother came back, after leaving her in the hospital and using a false name and KID number, and wanted her baby back. Everyone told us we could fight it based on her abandonment of her baby but for us, if her mother, her true mother wanted her and would take care of her it was not our decision to make, as painful as it was, I took our little girl back to the orphanage as all the arrangements were made for her mother to take her back. Following that experience we still felt led to adopt another child and brought our second son home as we worked through the private adoption process, this was no easy feat and we finally got our adoption papers in June 2009.
As far as Korean families adopting Korean orphans, I'm glad Koreans are adopting Koreans, if that is the case. I know in the past, culturally this was not a good thing to do, why bring bad juju into your family by adopting a baby or child. At least that's how it's been explained to me in the past. From 2002 through 2010 out of at least 25 children adopted from my two sons orphanage, only one was adopted by a Korean family. The rest were adoptd by American familes, mostly military who have provided each child with a loving home and in most cases loving siblings.
If any of you still think only Koreans should adopt Koreans I feel sorry for the hundreds or thousands of Korean children who will continue to grow up in the Korean welfare system and not ever have the chance to know a loving family just because that family is not Korean. I think that is very narrow minded of you and you should be ashamed of yourself. As far as the comments about Korea exporting children, well I think that's pretty absurd too. And if after reading this long discussion point you feel the same, go to Eastern and look in on the approximately 70 babies waiting for a loving family to take them in and love them the way they should be loved and have an opportunity to grow up with love.
5:10 pm on September 6th, 2010 23
Dan, there is a resident troll on this board named Tom. He is a despicable vile man who has never contributed anything positive to any discussion. You can refute strawman after strawman argument he puts up with the power of truth, but like a pinball he ignores the facts and moves onto another baseless attack.
It is great to see the boys so happy. Good luck to you and your family, I know the boys are in good hands.
5:13 pm on September 6th, 2010 24
Dan- You are an AWESOME Dad! Keep it up, brother.
One of the most annoying things about the dreadful "Age of the Common Man" in which we live is that insecure people are always looking to poke holes in the good that others do.
Here are kids who will grow up with real values, and real love. There's nothing on earth which can substitute for either of those.
6:34 pm on September 6th, 2010 25
Hamilton and Vince,
Thanks for your support of our boys and family. One thing is for sure, the boys are doing well over all. One thing our youngest has said is he loves his new life and has told me how lucky he is. He goes to a school where he has real friends, not just at school friends. You see, at the orphanage he went to a Korean elemntary school and he was ok but because he was from an orphanage once he stepped out of the front gate, his school friends wouldn't even talk to him because he was from an orphanage. Now he has friends who say hi to him wherever he is. He has also found a love a reading and sports, something he didn't have in the orphanage. Both boys have told me they want to attend Yale University, yep, YALE. Wow, that floored me, we haven't even talked about college, except that our youngest wanted to play football at USC. Both boys are on the honor roll every quarter and are good young men, respectful of others and tolerant. It would be very interesting to see what they had to say to some of the comments on this blog and how they feel about being adopted by foreigners.
Everytime someone tells us God has blessed our boys because we adopted them we tell them no, God has blessed us with our two sons. To all that see our adoption for what it is, an act of love, thank you, for those who don't, I spent over 28 years in the service of my country to allow you to have your opinion and I can live with that. And if you're Korean, I've spent over 10 years in the service of protecting your country to allow you to have your opinion because that's what a democracy is all about, having the freedom to voice your opinion.
7:12 pm on September 6th, 2010 26
I guess it's time for me as the mother of these two wonderful boys to add my thoughts on this subject. I have had numerous families make the comment that our sons are so lucky to have a family. On the contrary, we are the lucky ones to have these boys; family members, friends, teachers, etc. have all been blessed by these boys and share the same feelings.
Those of you who think that there isn't a problem (for whatever reasons) with unwanted children in this country, think again. Take a look around Korea; there are numerous orphanages that are tucked away in obscure places. Although these children are taken care of their futures are limited at best. Anyone who has lived in Korea understands how Korean society works. Think about the limited educational opportunities these children will have or the fact that they won't have a family to turn to once they have to leave the orphanage (mandatory age of 19). Let's also think about how these orphans will be treated when they will meet their perspective mate's families. Hmmm, the orphans won't have a family to engage within the typical Korean "meeting of the parents." Who then is going to pay for the orphan's family responsibilities (apartment and/or furnishings, car, etc.) Makes one think doesn't it??
I must say that Koreans seem to be one of the most vocal ethnic groups when dealing with adoption to foreigners. Think of all the countries around the world that allow foreigners to adopt their unwanted children. Why is it that Koreans take such great offense to the practice of providing families to these children?? It makes me think that there may possibly be a great deal of embarrasment and shame attached to these feelings. If Koreans have such strong feelings about these issues then maybe they should "step up" and take responsibility as a culture and nation. I'm really tired of the narrow views of many based on ethnicity.
I take pride in the fact that my sons are Korean. I have lived in this country for a total of 10+ years and have a love and appreciation for the Korean people and their culture.
I praise all individuals who have wanted to add to their family through adoption. I pray that those who have contemplated this process will not listen to the negativity of narrow minded individuals.
I thank God everyday for my sons, and I wouldn't hesitate to adopt another Korean child if the opportunity presented itself.
Elizabeth Berdine
3:43 am on September 7th, 2010 27
Dan and Elizabeth well said and don't mind Tom because he always provides the extreme Korean nationalist viewpoint. You are both obviously great parents for these two boys.
All the best to you and your family.
4:31 am on September 7th, 2010 28
I never accused the family of abusing. Now I'm the worst bad guy in the planet.
I've never said one negative thing about the adoptive parents.
In fact, if the family in question is giving the boy a good home, then good for you.
My point is to question the wisdom of continually supporting a Korean system which is looking out to sell children on international markets. The foreign adoptions keep on feeding a system which takes social responsibility off of Korea. Korea is painted negatively as an exporter of babies and when Korean government tries to do something about it, then the country's painted as not caring about the children. The orphans, may not have the ideal life, but they are not in life threatening squalor where they are living a miserable existence.
There are poor American kids, extremely poor African kids, needy kids from all over Asia, I have to ask, why Korean kids? Why is Korea so popular amongst couples who are looking to adopt? After all, Korea isn't the only society in the world where orphans are not adopted. And there are so many more kids in the world who are in much worse shape than Korean orphans who are relatively well off and who are relatively well looked after, compared to most desperate kids in under developed countries. Is it because Korean kids are so much easier to adopt than other countries? Why not adopt from America, there are tons of kids in the inner cities who are being shifted from one foster parents to another. Why not adopt an African kid who is starving? Why not the South American kid who is wandering around homeless? So why Korean? Why is Korea number #1 source of adopted babies?
4:34 am on September 7th, 2010 29
Good luck to all of you very giving and caring people. You are truly a credit to humanity. I don't know your creed or if you have one. I only ask you do one little thing. Wait … If you want to indoctrinate them into any religion. Wait until they are old enough to make the decision on their own. You seem like good and selfless people. Be fair and give them a fair shake in their inner beliefs. If the beliefs are true it will not matter whether they are 3 or 30, they will find the truth.
10:15 am on September 7th, 2010 30
Tom,
We tried adopting in the US, didn't work out for us. I know of a few US military who adopted from South America, China, and the good old USA (a white couple who adopted two black boys). It's not so easy to adopt Korean children either. We just went through an almost two year process to get our youngest son adopted so it isn't easier. I think there is a perception Korean babies are so easy and the Korean government has taken away domestic adoptions for foreigners but still have international adoptions. I've seen and talked to couples from the UK, US and Australia who have adopted or in the process of adopting Korean children. The reason is to give a loving home to a child or children, not that they are Korean or Chinese or African.
Adopting Korean children by Koreans is getting more attention and one reason is our adopting our two children. A good Korean friend of ours has adopted two girls recently and her motivation was our adoption of our sons. When she adopted our first, she just couldn't fathom how we, as Americans, could open our hearts and home to a baby not our own. She learned from us how adopting can be a wonderful experience for the family and the child, no matter what nationality they are. She just finished her second adoption and is bringing Korean adoptions to the front by now acknowledgine the fact she did adopt. See, she didn't want it known she adopted her girls because of the potential perception and how it would affect her girls. Well, now the facts are out and she's been contaced by a TV show for interviews and adoption and her motivation. We've done several interviews and one TV show hightlighting adoption and looks like one more for the cause is in the works.
My feelings is if Koreans are adopting more Korean children, good on them and that's great. But to say only Koreans should adopt Koreans I think is just too narrow minded when many families, not just US, are willing to adopt children, and not just from Korea. I know for a fact that if you were to go to my sons orphanage and ask every child if they would rather stay at the orphanage or get adopted, the majority would want to be adopted. I'm sure most would want to be adopted by Korean families but given the chance on being adopted by a foreign family or staying in the orphange, I know the majority would want to be adopted.
10:17 am on September 16th, 2010 31
Where do I even start? First, hats off to Dan and Elizabeth. Congratulations on the 2 additions!
Tom, I think you’re way off base. I, too, was born in Korea and adopted by an NCO and his wife (however, not stationed in Korea at the time). I’ve had an absolutely fabulous life with my family and have had opportunities I can’t even describe, that I wouldn’t have had in Korea. Being adopted was the best thing that ever happened to me, hands down.
As far as your points, how well do you know Korean culture? Are you Korean from Korea, or a Korean adoptee who has been fed rhetoric for years about how things “should” be? Since my father was in the Army (now retired, much like the LTC), I was always made fun of by Koreans (in America) for having a whore of a mother, traitor, etc. Some classy people, huh? It’s well known that Koreans largely aren’t too fond of marrying foreigners. Look at the discrimination the wave of Filipina-Korean and Viet-Korean babies are facing.
Second, why Korea? Adopting isn’t easy – have you tried it? In my parents’ case, they already had a child and could have more, so SEVERAL countries banned them from adopting. A child in need of a home is a child in need of a home. No one in Korea was stepping up to the plate. Your comment about how kids in Korea have “nice orphanages,” not squalor like other countries. Tom, I assume you didn’t grow up in an orphanage. I can only assume you are a Korean adoptee who grew up in some upper-middle class subdivision with ALL the privileges of the lucky people in the world and are now angry and ranting and raving. I’d much rather be in a trailer in the States, than an orphanage in Korea. The LTC and his wife explained why.
Second, about Korea. Yes, they are changing attitudes, but SLOWLY. You can lead a horse to water, but…you know the rest. How can you FORCE a nation of ppl to adopt? By and large, the Koreans I meet nowadays STILL have the same attitude, “How nice the so-and-so’s adopted, but I wouldn’t do it. I wouldn’t want that bad luck/bad blood/low class baby in MY family.”
11:57 am on September 16th, 2010 32
28: Tom
"My point is to question the wisdom of continually supporting a Korean system which is looking out to sell children on international markets."
Actually a decent point. If Korea and Koreans want to keep orphans in-house, so be it!
However, you're making some wrong assumptions from the American perspective. This may come as a shock. but there really aren't a whole lot of orphans in America. Due to a number of changes in our culture (in particular acceptance of children of unmarried mothers and abortion), there really arent that many parentless kids to go around. What you often find is the current crop of American orphans normally have serious health problems from drug using or AIDs infected Moms. Korea had pretty liberal rules on international adoptions and we took advantage of it!
As to your implication Americans should adopt needier kids from other nations, its already happening. We're adopting many more Chinese, Vietnamese and South American kids now than Koreans.
9:13 pm on September 16th, 2010 33
Congratulations! I can understand a bit Tom’s point, but he’s really placing the blame in the wrong place. Tom, if you want Koreans to adopt Korean orphans, than work to help out Orphans in Korea or push politically for more benefits to encourage adoption in Korea. There’s no reason to be frustrated with Dan for a difficulty which exists in Korea.
To Laporte:
Why do you have an unhealthy obsession with a simple well wisher saying “God Bless them.” You might not believe in god, but I don’t understand the point of telling someone who does that you’re offended by their well wishes. At worst such a wish is a null quantity, if god doesn’t exist than it’s no different than wishing someone “good luck.”
Furthermore, why should adoptive parents not share their beliefs (Atheism, Christianity, Buddhism or whatever) with their adopted children? Beliefs, values and so forth are part of what make a family. People share them with their children (adopted or not) on a daily basis. Anyway, posts like yours are why I don’t call myself an Atheist. I don’t believe in god but I find Atheists to be a distasteful bunch and I’d rather not associate myself with them!
9:29 am on September 19th, 2010 34
#33 The biggest problem is people see religion as harmless and it most certainly is not. There are many things we do not introduce our children to until they mature and can make their own decisions. I would think religion would rate pretty high up since it is so "important". We surely do not want to indoctrinate children with possibly dangerous ideas before they are old enough to form their own opinions. I know, they do it in madrassas and Jesus camp. It is called brain washing.
The only way for us to free ourselves from oppressive and destructive religious doctrine and influence is to stand up and point it out. Drag it kicking and screaming into the light of reason and show everyone what it really is. If you do not want to participate, that is fine but please do not impede others.
6:41 am on September 20th, 2010 35
Wow. It's sad that people (like Tom) just don't get it. Yes there are starving children around the world and there are not enough people to adopt all of them. Tom since you feel so strongly about this how many children have YOU adopted?
Let me solve this one for you…My parents adopted my brothers because they live in Korea. Is that so difficult to understand? If they were living in the United States at the time and the opportunity presented itself, they would have adopted a child here. And why do you feel the need to get on your soap box over something that is positive? Is your life really that horrible that you feel the need to judge others?
And I thought in today's world that people could adopt children of a different race and not be judged for doing so. Imagine if my parents had your racist thoughts! Where my brothers would be now? They would be stuck in an orphanage waiting for someone to adopt them and most likely that would not happen.
Next time Tom I would stay away from the keyboard. If you don't have something nice to say don't say it at all.
7:58 am on September 20th, 2010 36
Ma'am
Tom is an example of the illogical xenophobia which plagues this culture. Anonymous 1 really nailed it.
If you don't have a family in the Korea culture, you are truly hosed, and, NATURALLY, somehow it's your own fault if you don't have a family, so you're the subject of derision. That might seem like normal behavior for elementary school kids; it's the norm for Koreans- college educated Koreans. There are a LOT of really unhappy people in Korea, and there are a lot of reasons for that. Putting oneself first at all times can exact a toll on the spirit. Being a people who tend to be really NOT nice to people outside their immediate circle catches up. There is no joy in it.
You did a bigger favor than you realize for these kids by getting them out of this mean spirited culture.
The good news is that it IS getting better- and I hope that the Koreans continue to wake up and fully understand that they can be this economic power they want to be, keep the GREAT strength of their families- a real bulwark of their society which has allowed them to survive as a race and culture- AND keep a seat at the table for a new family member.
Some of the greatest gifts in life are those which weren't expected!
12:41 pm on September 20th, 2010 37
Why do you insist on generalizing? There are Madrasahs, and then there's a modern Muslim family going to the mosque. There are progressive socialists, and than there are young pioneers (East Germany) who indoctrinate children to think that anything but full fledged single party communist rule is worse than death. You don't want parents to pass religious values to their children and as an example you name the most extreme distasteful sort of religion you can find, when that's obviously not the case for these people. You're not arguing with people who you have reason to believe hold "oppressive and destructive" views.
12:46 pm on September 20th, 2010 38
Another thought occurred to me, if you guys have space when you're out of the army down the line in the states, you'd probably enjoy hosting a Korean Exchange student. There are a lot more Koreans who want to do an exchange year in the US than there are host families, and it would be a neat way for your adopted children to share in the culture of their birth country.
MORE OFF TOPIC STUFF: Why do you insist on generalizing? There are Madrasahs, and then there's a modern Muslim family going to the mosque. If you want to fight extreme types (be they religious, pro-Juche DPRK followers, communists or racial) than I encourage that wholeheartedly. But by taking a dump on a simple well wisher and telling people how to raise their children you're just making atheists look like a petty humorless bunch.
I'm tempted to think people like you are just trying to discredit atheists by making them look just as childish as fundies. If so, the campaign has sort of worked. Back in the 1970s I had a much more positive view of Atheists than I do today.
7:53 pm on September 20th, 2010 39
You can also consider allowing them to do an exchange year in college to Korea when they get older.
MORE OT:
Laporte, I bet you dont hestitate at all to blame some bad action on a persons religious beliefs. So you get all pissy when someone attributes something positive to a persons religion but don't think twice to blame religion for everything you don't like (any negative action, religion. Any positive action, what is in a persons heart). It's painfully lame.
3:32 am on September 21st, 2010 40
How could anyone find something bad to say about a family who has adopted a child? When you raise children you try to inculcate them with values of right and wrong whether they are your children by birth or adoption. My upbringing by my parents where we regularly went to church taught me to love and respect other people and not to do things like stealing or murdering people, is this wrong?
4:25 pm on September 21st, 2010 41
I did not drop a deuce on anyone. As far as "blaming the bad" blah blah and "telling people how to raise their kids" – nope. I only asked, perhaps pleaded, that these folks do the good and righteous thing. I care about the future of my country and humanity. We all have a stake in the future, and that is the fragile young minds of children. As an evil bastard, I'd like to see a world devoid of human suffering, hunger and tears. Religion has had it's chance and has failed, if not made the situation worse. This is not the thread to continue this conversation
I wish these wonderful people and their new family all the best.
10:54 am on September 28th, 2010 42
Right. Laporte, you still didn't address your simple logical failing. You blame bad things on religion but don't attribute anything positive to it. Similarly, a religious person could with as just as much validity argue that people should not teach atheism to their children. After all, what have atheist regimes brought to the world since their arrival around the 19th century? Stalin? Pol Pot? Atheism has had its chance, it should die, therefore avoiding atheism would be the "good and righteous thing."
… Obviously NOT. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't – it's a matter of personal opinion what belief system is right and correct.
11:10 am on September 28th, 2010 43
Either way, I plead with you in the future not to thread crap to evangelize for your own personal belief system – As a service to your fellow atheists. And if you were really concerned about the extreme religious sorts (who actually do damage) you'd be out there posting on some Fundie Christian or Muslim forums, not crapping on well wishers posting on a totally unrelated subject. In my mind you're little different than a Jehova's witness trying to convert people in the airport.
11:23 am on September 28th, 2010 44
By the way Tom, I encourage any positive belief system which teaches commendable things like love, respect, morality and charity. Not all atheists share the same beliefs as Laporte.
12:44 pm on September 28th, 2010 45
I'm sorry, but just because you're adopting a foreign child, it doesn't automatically you should be awarded a saint hood. There are number of reasons why foreign adoptions are chosen by couples. And not all the adoptions are purely out of altruism.
Take for instance this case involving the adopted Korean girl who was abandoned by the foreign couple who adopted because they thought they couldn't have a child.
http://www.autoblog.com/2010/07/19/2011-hyundai-s…
1:01 pm on September 28th, 2010 46
Tom, once again, you hit the nail on the head for me! There was a Dutch diplomat couple who returned a Korean child after they conceived their own kids. There was also an adoptive father (Steve Sueppel, a class act) who bludgeoned his 4 Korean kids to death. As you pointed out, the first family did it because they couldn't have their own; the 2nd couldn't either and I'm sure the wife kept insisting they adopt more (I volunteer in adoption groups, I see it all the time). There was a woman in the Midwest who shook her adopted Korean daughter to death. Yup, once again, didn't/couldn't have other kids.
Read my comment above – my parents were fertile. The Berdines are/were, as they have kids of their own. Yet, they still chose to adopt. We have met several military families who have adopted, and yup, you got it – all fertile. For a group of ppl who get such a bad reputation, I find it's the white yuppies who adopt when they have no other option rather than the "downtrodden" military families, who often have less money, less education, less stability. So, you should spread your drivel on messageboards where the majority of parents have physical problems that prevent them from having kids and adopt as a last resort.
So, should every adoptive family be sainted? Far from it. When a guy like my father returns from 2 years in VN at 21-22 and sees so much misery he and his wife decide to spend their life savings and adopt, rather than breed again? Yeah, perhaps not sainthood, but a pat on the back would be in order.
You didn't respond to my post. Again, I would bet my life savings that you were adopted, raised in an upper class suburb on some street named after the animal it was killed for (Fox Trace Drive? Rabbit Trail East? Deer Run Path?) and have lots of time on your hands now.
People like the Berdines are similar to my parents (no offense to the Officer, since my father was an Enlisted man), who are so touched by kids' plights, that they reach across racial lines, spend lots of money, and open up their homes and lives when they already have kid(s) of their own.
If your parents were like the ones with whom I volunteer, as you said, "couldn't have one of their own," then I sympathize with you, Tom. That's not fair to you
1:03 pm on September 28th, 2010 47
PS, Tom. The Hyundai is nice, but I prefer a Beemer, pref 7-Series.
1:35 pm on September 28th, 2010 48
#31,
- " I was always made fun of by Koreans (in America) for having a whore of a mother, traitor, etc"
- " STILL have the same attitude, “How nice the so-and-so’s adopted, but I wouldn’t do it. I wouldn’t want that bad luck/bad blood/low class baby in MY family.”"
…says the poster named "Anonymous 1".
Red flags immediately goes up that says we have pretender who claims to be an adopted Korean from the US. Yeah right, and I'm president Obama's adopted son. You're probably a white guy behind the keyboard making things up about what Koreans supposedly saying those things. Typically, that's what white guys always claim Koreans say that. Heard it all before, white guy so you can't fool me.
1:53 pm on September 28th, 2010 49
Tom, swear on my mother's heart that I'm an adopted Korean from the US. What proof can I provide you?
I should stop arguing with you, bc I'll just tire myself out. My post was much too in depth to be from a white guy. LOL
You aren't the son of the POTUS, but a whiny, entitled adoptee? I'll give you that, gladly!
Think about your logic (or lack thereof, Tom). Koreans don't say those things? Uh, yeah. That's why Koreans are one of the most ethnically homogeous groups, bc they love intermarriage. And that's why they adopt in HUGE #s (I get they adopt, but they don't do enough of it), because they are fond of others' DNA.
Born in the 80s, adopted thru Dillon, passed thru ESWS, raised by a family with one bio son and a dad who spent 28 years in the US Army and a nurse for a mother.
Please, eeb-yong-ah, go away.
4:32 pm on September 28th, 2010 50
By the way Laporte, I think I came off too harsh. I get that your intentions are good, and I appreciate that. I just think the tactic of jumping in on unrelated topics is counter-productive.
5:09 pm on September 28th, 2010 51
There is no need to teach children atheism. It is the default mode for all humans. We are all boorn atheists. Anyhoo, as I said, I care but you and I are both right. This isn't the thread. Want to see some wild stuff? Go here: http://www.stripes.com/opinion/letters-to-the-edi…
9:44 pm on September 28th, 2010 52
"Tom, swear on my mother’s heart that I’m an adopted Korean from the US"
Sure, whatever you say, white guy.
2:27 am on September 29th, 2010 53
Tom, can't believe I'm saying this, but your adoptive parents should request a refund
2:47 am on September 29th, 2010 54
Anyonmous1, don't worry about Tom. He's just doing this because we caught him pretending to be a Korean female ragging on other Korean girls for hanging around American guys a couple weeks ago
!
4:34 am on September 29th, 2010 55
Dear Berdine family,
Thank you and PLEASE ignore TOM. I'm on many forums but never seen such an extreme troll. As you are living life as responsible adults and not posting/reading on forums incessantly (my head hanging in shame
), you may not be familiar with trolls. But they exist. Best thing to do is ignore (don't read or reply) them.
It's a great thing that you are doing. In the past when ROK was so poor, being adopted by foreign parents was really the best option for the orphans. Koreans wouldn't adopt the orphans and the nation barely could provide basic housing/education. And without the chance to get proper education, many would have much harder time moving up the social/economic ladder in ROK.
I'm actually quite unhappy with NYT for running the article that labeled ROK as baby exporter. WHO cares? Do they realize HOW MUCH harm they have done to the orphans in ROK?
I read an article by an ex-orphan adopted from ROK to US parents. She and other ex-orphans came to visit ROK after growing into adults. One activity was to visit an orphanage in ROK. She wrote when she saw the Korean orphans looking at visitors in her group, she felt sense of guilt and how lucky she was. The activity (ROK orphans being adopted abroad) that NYT so called as embarrassing was the salvation for her and many other orphans.
I personally know and heard of such orphans who are living in US. Most are happy with their lives although I know some go through much soul searching, asking questions such as why they became orphans etc etc. Everyone related to an orphan is hurt. Parents (whether they are alive or not) don't get to see their children grow up and the orphans have to grow up without love of parents protecting them. Anything you can do to lessen the pain is great.
God bless you Berdines.
11:39 pm on October 18th, 2010 56
Well, this was interesting to read. First of all, I want to thank the Berdine family for adopting korean kids. I too was adopted (not like the fake ass Anonymous 1). I was 8 yrs old when I was adopted. I was rename from my korean name to american name. I like the orphanages that I came from. I had a lots of kids that was my age to play with and got fed 3 to 4 times a day, educated, and clothes when I needed it. All this was impssible when I was living with my dad in korea. One day my dad left me on the street and police found me and got me to an orphanage ( I think I was 5 than). When I was adopted, I was excited and scare. But it was best thing ever happen to me and it will always will be. I love my american parents like they gave birth to me. I am married to a beautiful Korean wife. We decided to adopt Korean kid. I know someday me and my wife will have a baby of our own but I want to be the loving father like my American father was to me when I did not have no future for a family. I hope somebody will give me helpful idea where I can begin to start. By the way, I am living in korea because I am station here (CP Walker). Yes, I am in the U.S. Army. Again, thank you Berdine Family.
8:48 am on October 19th, 2010 57
Rich #56. Thanks for sharing your wonderful story. Instead of being embittered you grew up, are now serving our country, & have further given back by adopting a child of your own. I hope those who have complained about the Berdine family will read what the Berdine's & Rich have said & hopefully will have a change of heart. Thank You Rich for your story & for your service.
11:17 am on October 24th, 2010 58
Thanks for all the support. Our children are a blessing everyday they are with us. Again, thanks for all your support and well wishes.
4:53 am on March 1st, 2011 59
I served with LTC Berdine in Korea and can think of no better father for these children. The Berdines are an amazing family and I congratulate them on their beautiful family.
8:51 pm on September 19th, 2011 60
considering what they did in the past – the father Dan received letters of reprimand for fornicating his soldiers and the mother Liz had many boyfriend with other soldiers because she need attention while dan busy making forcing physical acts with his soldiers. too bad for these korean boys. they are pawns in mommy and daddy adventures to get attention.
i hope God has mercy and protect these koren boys. why not read official record of the parents before they get to prison korean boys. people must think because they are from united states would make Korean lives better.
11:10 pm on September 19th, 2011 61
Interested In Korean Adoptions (IIKP)… In the United States I believe you could be charged with a criminal case of libel for what you’ve just written. I know both these people… they are generous, caring, and kind. I hope there is a way your words can be used against you in a criminal court here in Korea… assuming you don’t retract your words. Have a wondrous day IIKP.
11:11 pm on September 19th, 2011 62
That has got to be the LAMEST attempt at trolling I’ve ever seen in my life.
I know the intent of a good trolling post is get people all worked up…but you just had me laughing my ass off!!!
Thanks for the laugh!!!
5:57 am on September 20th, 2011 63
Wow, I’m not sure what is more comical; a Korean with really poor English skills trying to sound like a well versed native speaker, or an American with a really lame attempt at sounding like a Korean. Either way, you attack my family as you hide behind a computer screen and sling untruths, how pathetic! Some of your word choices actually made me laugh, another example of a thesaurus gone wrong.
You post comments about my family as if you have true knowledge of who we really are. This would of course be a great example of ignorance and a feeble attempt at trying to attack us. Really, just because we adopted?
I do feel sorry for you and would give you words of wisdom in which to learn from, but I believe that it would be a waste of my time and beyond your comprehension.
Take heed “Interested in Korean Adoptions,” I do take offense to the slanderous remarks you posted. Also know that we have several good friends who are Korean politicians and policemen. I’m sure they would love to read your remarks . . .
I would however like to take the time to thank those of you who continue to support our family, you ROCK!
8:31 am on September 20th, 2011 64
Elizabeth Berdine,
Three lines of advice…
1. Don’t respond to idiots.
2. Always be positive.
3. Keep up the good work.
8:02 pm on September 20th, 2011 65
IIKP, Your post is one of the most nauseating things that I have ever read. The Berdine’s are just Christ’s love into action while you are just sorry. I will write no more since ROK Drop would censor what I really want to say. God Bless You & your wonderful family Dan & Elizabeth Berdine.