ROK Drop

Avatar of GI KoreaBy on November 21st, 2012 at 6:54 pm

General’s Wife Says Deployments Contributed To Infidelity

The wife of Army Brigadier General Jeffrey Sinclair who is accused of various sex crimes, believes that deployments contribute to infidelity:

As an Army general faces a string of sexual misconduct charges involving female officers, his wife is seeking to stir a broader look at often taboo subjects in military marriages: adultery, the strain of separation and the stress of war.

Rebecca Sinclair stayed away from the days-long military hearing earlier this month at Fort Bragg, N.C., where the allegations against her husband, Brig. Gen. Jeffrey Sinclair, were revealed in detailed testimony. Women officers described an affair, forced sexual encounters and a series of explicit email exchanges with the former deputy commander of the 82nd Airborne Division in Afghanistan.

But his wife has since made herself a public face of his defense, and of what she sees as the toll of a decade of war on military couples, many of whom have found themselves in a repeated pattern of deployments, homecomings and moves.

“I am not condoning anything, and I’m not excusing my husband’s infidelity. I’m not saying that just because we’re on this deployment cycle and because of the war, that causes infidelity,” she said by phone Monday from New York, where she had traveled for interviews after airing her feelings in an opinion piece Thursday in The Washington Post. “I’m just trying to understand it, and I’m trying to get conversations started so that people can look behind and see the bigger issue.”  [Associated Press]

You can read the rest at the link, but I don’t think that when you are a General Officer that blaming deployments for infidelity is a very good excuse.  I could understand this excuse coming from a 20 year old private who probably got married too early, but not guys like Sinclair and Petraeus who have decades of military experience and are in their 50′s and 60′s.

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  • LG DACOM Stinks, Royally
    8:15 pm on November 21st, 2012 1

    She’s right. Everyone who’s deployed more than once runs a 3-year extramarital affair with a direct subordinate and has sexytime in their office.

  • Avatar of John MacJohn Mac
    8:51 pm on November 21st, 2012 2

    Well, I find it hard to argue with the logic of the “Infidelity Risk Curve”. It may not be PC to say so, but human nature will not be denied.

  • Stephen
    10:40 pm on November 21st, 2012 3

    Thanks for that link John. Very amusing.

  • warrior6
    12:54 am on November 22nd, 2012 4

    I have seen too many infidelities with officers and senior NCOs during my three tours in ROK. My violin in playing for you lady.

  • Eddie Cantor
    2:43 pm on November 22nd, 2012 5

    Those Generals have it so tough during deployments.

  • Teadrinker
    4:56 pm on November 22nd, 2012 6

    In other words, she’s in denial.

  • Bob
    7:52 pm on November 22nd, 2012 7

    A friend of mine Husband cheated on her, she forgave him. He was combat arms and did a 15 month deployment followed by a 9 month break (3 months of that 9 months spent in the field) followed by another 15 month deployment. On his 2nd time round he found himself a comfy solider to bang on the side. Of course word got out and he got caught.

    His reasoning? Out of the last 39 months he spent 33 months away from home and his wife. And his mistress? Same story so they coupled together. \

    Now per General Allen’s wife she’s diff bangable. Petraneus wife? Not so much.

  • Innocent Bystander
    8:56 pm on November 22nd, 2012 8

    Until they make Soldier clones, zombies, or terminators…Military personnel are still human.

  • counter strike 6
    11:03 pm on November 22nd, 2012 9

    I always here this B.S. about how military spouse “serve their country”. I say that in order to keep all this infidelity to a minimum, we make all military spouse deploy along with the soldiers to the combat zones. They could be responsible for all the FOBs cooking, cleaning, whatever.

  • Teadrinker
    3:55 am on November 23rd, 2012 10

    Sorry, but that’s a BS excuse. Plenty of people do not cheat. It’s a pretext, nothing more, nothing less.

  • Innocent Bystander
    6:22 am on November 23rd, 2012 11

    A pretext to what? Reality?

  • Teadrinker
    6:41 am on November 23rd, 2012 12


    No, to infidelity.

  • Setnaffa
    6:46 am on November 23rd, 2012 13

    @10, correct. There are still many who regard marriage vows as binding even when they’re not in the same country as their spouse.

    @11, use your noggin for something other than keeping your ears apart. Some folks have no self-discipline. Others do, in differing amounts. Each of us have different breaking points, different weaknesses. We all need to admit (to ourselves anyway) what those are and try to find “accountability partners” to help us avoid the “slippery slope” that leads from flirting with coworkers to “All In”…

  • tbonetylr
    6:47 am on November 23rd, 2012 14

    19 thousand sexual assaults per year, when it comes to sex, expect the worst with the American military and personnel…
    MAKERS Moment
    Victims of Sexual Assault
    Bhagwati wants others to understand that almost half of the V.A.’s sexual trauma victims are men.
    “Femininity is squelched in the military but it shouldn’t be that way”
    “Anu Bhagwati is the Executive Director for the Service Women’s Action Network, an organization that supports, defends and empowers servicewomen and women veterans. Bhagwati was a former Captain and Company Commander in the Marine Corps, serving as a Marine officer from 1999-2004. She was the second woman to complete the Marine Corps Marial Arts Program instructor trainer school, earning a black belt in close combat techniques.”

  • Sonagi
    8:39 am on November 23rd, 2012 15

    I’m trying to wrap my brain around the fact that the attractive and seemingly reasonable woman in the news photo remains married to a man whose mugshot facial expression in his official military photo could scare paint off walls, and who, if allegations are true, is just as creepy on the inside as he is on the outside,

  • Innocent Bystander
    1:32 pm on November 23rd, 2012 16

    12 & 13: If you are holier than art thou, then you should know not to throw rocks in a glass house. We all know infidelity is a personal choice, regardless of morals or religious beliefs. Both you and I have seen the mighty fallen over the power of the “P”, from John Edwards to Tiger Woods.

    You think those who cheat are in the minority? Think again. Personally, I don’t condone infidelity whatsoever. I’m happily married. But, I’m not stupid or blind. I’ve been around the block enough to know that adultery is probably the king of sins. Why is that?

    As you write your rebuttal and personal attacks (Setnaffa), take a cursory look at your past friends, families and acquaintances. Tell me you weren’t surprised a time or two when someone you thought you knew was playing both sides of the plate.

    Only recent history through Judeo-Christian traditions hold that monogamy is the only natural form of marriage. However, we know that humans have been polygynous throughout most of history.

    I’m happy that neither of you ever lied, stole, corrupted, drove under the influence, smoked dope, spoke ill will, spoke the Lord’s name in vain, or pocketed someone’s mistake (bank, cashier) when it largely benefits you. Congrats gentlemen, you are the exception.

  • Teadrinker
    4:27 pm on November 23rd, 2012 17


    Either she’s in denial, or she knew about it. It’s possible that goose was cooked a long time ago and they were staying together for the sake of his political ambitions and the social standing she got out of it (sounds oddly familiar).

  • Teadrinker
    5:05 pm on November 23rd, 2012 18

    ” If you are holier than art thou, then you should know not to throw rocks in a glass house. We all know infidelity is a personal choice, regardless of morals or religious beliefs. Both you and I have seen the mighty fallen over the power of the “P”, from John Edwards to Tiger Woods. ”

    Right, because I should be surprised that guys who’ve never been told ‘no’ think it’s okay for mess around.

    “You think those who cheat are in the minority?”

    And if your friends jumped off a bridge, so would you?

    “Why is that?”
    I don’t believe in sin in the biblical sense. But, I perceive adultery as a form of delusion. You’re not only being dishonest to your spouse, you’re being dishonest to yourself. If you’re going to cheat, get divorced first.

  • Liz
    5:30 pm on November 23rd, 2012 19

    #2: The guy who wrote that article has a serious case of alpha male envy.

    #15: What you said.

  • Teadrinker
    5:39 pm on November 23rd, 2012 20


    What I was getting at is that she’s a third-rate Hilary Clinton. Hilary Clinton is a brilliant lawyer who stayed in it for her own political ambitions. What has she got to gain from it?

  • Liz
    6:19 pm on November 23rd, 2012 21

    #20: I don’t know her, or her story, well enough to answer. Maybe she’s a masochist, and he’s a sadist…the subordinates he has sex with certainly seem to have deep-seeded masochist tendencies.

    But 27 years of marriage is a very long time. They were married the year he was commissioned. She didn’t marry a politician or a general.

  • Avatar of GI KoreaGI Korea
    5:07 am on November 24th, 2012 22

    @14 – You are falling for Bhagwati and SWAN’s propaganda. I already exposed them months ago.

  • Avatar of GI KoreaGI Korea
    5:21 am on November 24th, 2012 23

    @15- Remember that she has a lot to lose if this guy goes to jail and gets a bad conduct discharge. She would lose the retirement benefits that she is entitled half of if she was to get divorced from him. Not to mention that she probably wouldn’t want her kids’ father to go to jail as well.

    I would have to think that his lawyer asked her to publicly go and defend him with their expected defense.

  • Sonagi
    5:33 am on November 24th, 2012 24

    Thanks for clarifying, GI. Your explanation makes sense. The is something not right about military wives forced to choose between defending a lout or losing retirement benefits.

  • Hamilton
    6:49 am on November 24th, 2012 25

    #24 Offer them half the pre-bust payout and see how many are supportive. For the record, the jerk-weed COL who decided to marry his Iraqi Interpreter didn’t have his ex-wife stand by him. She said he should have gone to jail, and she’s right. :shock:

  • Liz
    7:29 am on November 24th, 2012 26

    The system for career advancement and promotions for the “fast burner” types does make spouses dependant (assuming they stay married). It’s a one career per family system, the spouse has to move too many times for his/her own career advancement and they are a single parent (living far away from family support) 70 percent of the time. Even the CDCs on base are usually full and cater towards the active duty, not their spouses (which is understandable, with resource scarcity active duty should always take precedence). I had to wait over a year for a slot for my kids (by that time, we’re moving again). Engineers, lawyers, et al usually give up eventually if their spouses are on the very fast advancement career track. I’ve seen it happen again and again…it’s happened to me (around 14 moves in 18 years). Not complaining, just stating a fact. On the other hand, reserves are much better for dual career track families (but have other drawbacks).

  • Setnaffa
    7:59 am on November 24th, 2012 27

    #16 has a chip on his/her shoulder for sure.

    I stated that infidelity was dishonorable. I did not state I was perfect, sinless, faithful, or even one of those whose marriage was safe when one of us was far away from the other. Those of you who know me know the truth about that.

    I’m thinking they have a pretty jaundiced view of the people around them. Not “realistic”, just bitter: “Innocent Bystander” seems more like a “victim”…

  • Setnaffa
    9:59 am on November 24th, 2012 28

    The Gods of the Copybook Headings
    by Rudyard Kipling, 1919

    AS I PASS through my incarnations in every age and race,
    I make my proper prostrations to the Gods of the Market Place.
    Peering through reverent fingers I watch them flourish and fall,
    And the Gods of the Copybook Headings, I notice, outlast them all.

    We were living in trees when they met us. They showed us each in turn
    That Water would certainly wet us, as Fire would certainly burn:
    But we found them lacking in Uplift, Vision and Breadth of Mind,
    So we left them to teach the Gorillas while we followed the March of Mankind.

    We moved as the Spirit listed. They never altered their pace,
    Being neither cloud nor wind-borne like the Gods of the Market Place,
    But they always caught up with our progress, and presently word would come
    That a tribe had been wiped off its icefield, or the lights had gone out in Rome.

    With the Hopes that our World is built on they were utterly out of touch,
    They denied that the Moon was Stilton; they denied she was even Dutch;
    They denied that Wishes were Horses; they denied that a Pig had Wings;
    So we worshipped the Gods of the Market Who promised these beautiful things.

    When the Cambrian measures were forming, They promised perpetual peace.
    They swore, if we gave them our weapons, that the wars of the tribes would cease.
    But when we disarmed They sold us and delivered us bound to our foe,
    And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: “Stick to the Devil you know.”

    On the first Feminian Sandstones we were promised the Fuller Life
    (Which started by loving our neighbour and ended by loving his wife)
    Till our women had no more children and the men lost reason and faith,
    And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: “The Wages of Sin is Death.”

    In the Carboniferous Epoch we were promised abundance for all,
    By robbing selected Peter to pay for collective Paul;
    But, though we had plenty of money, there was nothing our money could buy,
    And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: “If you don’t work you die.”

    Then the Gods of the Market tumbled, and their smooth-tongued wizards withdrew
    And the hearts of the meanest were humbled and began to believe it was true
    That All is not Gold that Glitters, and Two and Two make Four
    And the Gods of the Copybook Headings limped up to explain it once more.

    As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man
    There are only four things certain since Social Progress began.
    That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,
    And the burnt Fool’s bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire;

    And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins
    When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins,
    As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn,
    The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return!–zQDfog

  • Innocent Bystander
    6:40 pm on November 24th, 2012 29

    27: Take your psycho-babble elsewhere. You don’t know me, nor do I know you. I think most would agree with your opinion that cheating is dishonorable – which akin to stating the obvious. Regardless, your opinion on the matter changes nothing.


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